Recently I read this article in The Guardian that really hit home with me how urgent the need is to stop burning things for energy.
Sadly, until our species stops burning long-dead life-forms – fossil fuels – as our primary sources of energy for our homes, businesses, and transportation systems, this trend will only continue. More people will sicken and die due to atmospheric, land, and water pollution directly and indirectly due to burning fossil fuels for energy. Then there are the anthropogenic climate change implications – but that is another can of worms for another day.
If you do not understand the issues and the connections between burning fossil fuels, pollution, climate change and the health and continuation for humans and wildlife then it is possible that:
– you may not understand the problem.
– you may understand the problem but feel that it is hopeless and that nothing you do will change anything.
– you may have the desire to make a change, but do not believe you have the ability or the means to start the change.
or
– you may not want to understand the problem.
– you may for some bizarre reason actually believe the rhetoric of the corrupt politicians who are in bed with fossil fuel corporations.
– you may be listening to and trusting those with agendas.
– while choosing to ignore those with the peer-reviewed evidence.
– you may have money invested in fossil fuels that you do not want to loose.
– you might be comfortable in the way things are – or were – and you do not want to change – even if that change would make you more comfortable, happy, wealthy, and provide your children and grandchildren with a better world.
– you may actually believe the ancient scribblings in a dusty old story book that tells you the earth and its resources are somehow “imperfect” “corrupt” or “evil” and are here for us to dominate and squander without any consideration for future people, wildlife, or the balance of nature.
– you may even somehow believe all of the above.
This is all really very sad.
These limiting, restrictive, erroneous, and destructive beliefs will only serve to make problems such as this far more malignant and deadly.
The cold, hard, inconvenient truth is this: our species must stop burning things for energy and transition as fast as possible to local, energy secure, clean, renewable energy sources such as solar, wind, hydroelectric, geothermal, gravity, tidal and wave energy, and eventually – fusion. We must keep the majority of fossil fuels in the ground and use them only as fuel for systems and projects that do not play well with renewables such as rocketry – as well as keeping them in reserve as backups for when emergencies happen and as feedstocks for reusable, recyclable products that are made from them – such as plastics.
If we want our species to continue much longer into the future – we must listen to those with the evidence.
I just learned of another “event” that is predicted by many “woke” “thinkers” and “researchers” to happen on Feb 21st. 2021.
A zombie apocalypse.
Yep, you read that right.
A friggin zombie apocalypse.
I am not ready for this.
(LOLROTFL)
If you go to Wikipedia and search for “end of the world predictions” you will find a treasure trove of hundreds of terrible, horrible, violent, “evil” civilization-ending disasters that were certain to occur.
You know what?
They didn’t happen. None of them.
The prophets (profits), doomsayers, soothsayers, and end times gurus were wrong every single time.
No, zombies aren’t real. They are fiction. They are, in fact, biologically impossible.
No, there won’t be a zombie apocalypse this year – or any year…well, except on TV, at the movies, and in the brains of some people who have never opened their mind to reality…oh wait, I forgot about that small cadre of walking dead brainless zombies who followed the insane dictates of their idiocy-tweeting führer and stormed the Capitol on January 6th, 2021 in a lame attempt to start a “civil war” or some other such nonsense.
If there had been “real” zombies (who are far more intelligent than any of the Capitol rioters or their führer) they would not have promoted their “civil war” on many social media outlets and taken selfies and videos of themselves and their friends in “action” – then post them all over the internet as an invitations to identify, locate, and arrest they and their comrades – then toss them in the jailhouse to rot like the gray matter lacking, putrid, slimy, worm-ridden filth that they are.
As the gang from Scooby-Doo found out – the real monsters are always us.
Nope, zombies are not real so there will be no zombie apocalypse this year…or any year.* However, I’m pretty sure it won’t be the only apocalypse and/or other bizarre conspiratorial evidence-lacking fabrications predicted this year (“Jewish space lasers” anyone) and, like this one, all the others have been or will be revealed to be total fabrications and/or non-events as well. (Except for all the book-writing and DVD/movie “documentary” producing, prepper product selling, soothsayers, doomsayers, and end times preaching pontiffs, charlatans, swindlers, and conmen – for them, it’s all just more of your money in their pockets.)
See you on the 22nd for just another day on this water-soaked rock we multi-colored primates call planet earth.
*There is one sure way we could create an apocalyptic situation for the population of our planet: not listening to the findings of the world’s experts and scientists, putting myth, magic, mysticism, and money above common sense and reality. I believe Carl Sagan said it best:
“I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time — when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness…
The dumbing down of American is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30 second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance”
― Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark
I test several common protective face masks in a cleanroom of my own design.
This video is long because I choose to be thorough and transparent. To demonstrate this requires procedure and patience. If you are in a hurry and want to bypass all the “meat” of the video and go directly to my findings – then feel free to do so by skipping ahead to the time index of 39:17
The back story: in the early summer of 2020 I noticed many mask tests being conducted by different scientists to demonstrate the effectiveness of wearing masks to protect us from COVID-19 (and other nasty infectious diseases such as Influenza). Below is an example of one of these mask demonstrations from Dr. Rich Davis -the regional director of microbiology at Providence Health Care in Spokane, Washington.
What does a mask do? Blocks respiratory droplets coming from your mouth and throat.
Two simple demos:
First, I sneezed, sang, talked & coughed toward an agar culture plate with or without a mask. Bacteria colonies show where droplets landed. A mask blocks virtually all of them. pic.twitter.com/ETUD9DFmgU
— Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS🧫🦠 (@richdavisphd) June 26, 2020
Dr. Davis’s example along with others (listed below) inspired me to attempt a similar mask test in my classroom for my students in the attempt to show the effectiveness – and the necessity – of wearing a mask during a global pandemic.
To do this I acquired some Petri dishes (from an Amazon supplier), then – with a mask off and a petri dish held at arm’s length – I coughed, sneezed, sang, and yelled at the open dishes. I then put on a two layer cotton face mask and repeated the demonstration exactly as the first time.
I labeled the dishes and let them incubate for a few days in a warm area – I did not have an incubator at the time but it was June so it was warm in the classroom, therefore – growth happened…LOTS of growth, far more than I expected…it was really gross actually and it smelled really funky.
The odd thing was that, while the dish that was exposed to my respiratory droplets/aerosols without a mask did in fact have more colonies of growth – so did the plate I had coughed on while wearing a mask. At first it appeared that the mask did little to stop the spread of respiratory droplets.
I wrongly assumed my error was in the growth media of the petri dishes so I acquired some new dishes with the same growth media used by many of the other researchers – 5% sheep’s blood – and I repeated the demonstration. This time I also added a table and placed several dishes out at 1′, 3′ and 6′ in an attempt to show how droplets travel outward from the body.
Again, the results were the same – not much difference between masked and unmasked.
I was perplexed.
I compared my results to the others and came to the only possible conclusion: my samples had been contaminated by the classroom environment. The natural dust and dirt on our feet, bodies, and hair that the students and I bring inside with us from the nearby forest and garden, our sloughed off human skin cells and hair, animal/bird dander (we have several free-range chickens), the fact that the building is an old log cabin. Along with all this fun with particulates – the classroom is host to many different species of reptile, amphibian, fish, arachnid, and sometimes even an Opossum. Then there are the billions of free-floating fungal spores and pollen grains from the forest all around us as well as the occasional wandering house fly or gnat – and all the fun little friends that hitchhike on their feet and faces. All these contaminants and contaminant vectors were, well – everywhere.
So, my samples were contaminated by the nature of nature.
What to do? How could I reduce the natural contamination factor of my classroom environment to produce a more un-contaminated result?
A room air filter you say? Yes, I already had one of those – a big one. Obviously, it could only do so much.
Since it would be next to impossible to make my classroom free of natural environmental contaminants – the only option I could see was to build a Cleanroom myself in the hopes of ruling out some of the environmental contamination in the hopes of obtaining a better result – so, that is what I did.
The embedded video shows the results of my efforts and I hope it serves to demonstrate the how and the why of why masks work and why it is important to wear them during a global pandemic.
Watch to the end if you are interested in learning how I built the Cleanroom.
No, actually – it is not…I was just trying to get your attention 😉
I am sharing this link not because I was one of these people, I am sharing because many people have found themselves in this position and have been able to recognize the trap they were in and then get themselves out of it before it was too late. The link is a story of great advice from one of these individuals who recognized the danger and got out – others, however, are not so lucky and will need help from friends and family in finding their way out of the deep, dark, pit of conspiratorial thinking they have fallen into. Without a ladder or a rope of loving support from their loved ones – and sometimes the long arm of the law – they will dig themselves in even deeper and the ever-increasing depth of the pit will increasingly prevent them from escaping the gravity well they have fallen into – a gravity well that is crushing the life out of them and often, everyone around them.
IMHO, intentionally denying verifiable, peer-reviewed evidence and instead choosing to support conspiracy “theorist” “thinking” and belief systems – is one of the most dangerous threats we face in working toward a prosperous future for us all.
Have you unfortunately found yourself stuck in that bizarre world of conspiracies where you actually fully believe everything is a lie, a cover-up, a hoax?
You know what I’m talking about – but just in case you need a refresher – here are a few of the more common examples:
Area 51 is hoarding and hiding alien bodies/artifacts
The Apollo moon landings were staged/produced by Stanley Kubrick…
The earth is flat…or hollow…
Australia does not exist…
Lizard people are controlling our government…
Giants once existed…
Dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time…or dinosaurs never existed and their bones are a manufactured to give scientists a job…
Chem-trails are real…
Pizzagate…
911 was staged…
The “deep state”…
Climate change is a hoax…
Covid 19 is a bioweapon and was manufactured in a lab by Bill Gates and friends, and/or Bill Gates is putting tracking devices in vaccines to track/follow/control you…
Vaccines cause autism…
The democrats/republicans/greenies are plotting to take your freedoms…
The virus is not real and mask mandates are about control…
College brainwashes people to become liberals…
All that Qanon nonsense…
…yada, yada, yada…
If you believe any of these and/or similar bizarre claims and beliefs – without seriously analyzing and questioning the authenticity of those claims and beliefs…the what and the why of what and why you believe what you believe – and especially if you believe these things without any verifiable evidence to support your claims and beliefs – then you may have inadvertently become stuck/trapped in a cultish following that has hijacked your brain.
Ask yourself some serious questions:
Is this belief system taking up a large portion of my time?
Have I ended friendships or am I fighting with family members over it?
Have I dropped out of school or lost jobs because of it?
Am I living in constant fear of friends/family/neighbors/strangers that I once respected?
Am I afraid – terrified – of what may happen next?
Am I stockpiling food and weapons?
Am I always online “learning” and “researching” the latest claim, “theory” or “truth”?
Am I worshiping an ideal or a person in power/politics/prestige as a “savior” of humanity or our “tribe” or way of life?
Am I worried that friends who listen to and support the recommendations of science are the ones who have been duped?
Am I concerned and/or do I believe that education and knowledge are work of “the left,” “evil” or “the devil?”
Do I believe that I am 100% right about my beliefs because simply my belief system, my friends online, and/or that loudmouthed “woke” guy on YouTube, or my favorite end of the world/prepper/echo chamber website (that interestingly is always asking for money to support their cause) – tells me so?
If any of this sounds like you then please, get professional help now before it is too late.
The fact is this: if no evidence exists to support their/your claim, “theory,” or belief system – then in all the probability that exists – that claim, “theory” or belief system is – most likely – simply wrong/erroneous and/or manufactured – probably to make some slimy, smelly, troll in a dim, dank basement somewhere – loads of money – your money.
Sadly, you may have already lost your freedom to whatever the belief system it is that is controlling you and you will see everything and everyone as a lie, a hoax, a threat to you and your freedom.
Again, if any of this sounds like you then please, get help now before it is too late – before the gravitational pull of the lunatic fringe pulls you past the point of no return and you disappear over the event horizon into the black hole of darkness never to return to the land of the living.
If you can find the inner strength to realize you made a mistake – as the brave woman in this story did – then you can rescue yourself from the toxic world of conspiracy theorists and lies. Next is a story of a man who realized he was conned by the Qanon crazy and got out before it totally controlled his life.
Personal freedom comes when you find the inner strength to break the molds imposed upon you by the conspiratorial, religious, and political conditioning that ended your childhood trust in others and destroyed the insatiable curiosity all children have in the natural, real, observable, measurable, and so very fragile connections between all things in the cosmos.
Until you are able to shed the toxic skin of your past – or the mind predators of your present – you will run the risk of remaining easily controlled, divided, fearful, and under the thumb of the charlatans who want to own your life for their own personal gain.
True freedom does not come from without, it comes from within. It comes from letting go of all the things that have a hold on you, that control your thought process – and replacing them with only reality – even if the reality is that no one is really in control and we are all working, fighting, clawing to exist on a tiny, inconspicuous, remote, wet rocky speck of a rather ordinary planet orbiting just another ordinary star in just another ordinary galaxy in this vast ocean we call the cosmos.
We may not be all that special when it comes to the vastness of the cosmos, but each and every one of us are unique, special, one of a kind individuals and we each have wonderful gifts, talents, generosity, compassion, and love to offer to those around us. Let go of the imaginary things that control you and open your eyes and see reality as it really is – and then you will truly be free to live, share, and enjoy the life and time you have.
Life is not about the ending, it is about the living.
One of the most important things I have learned over my over 1/2 century of life on planet earth – is how incredibly important the methods, tools, and findings of science, (and engineering, and technology) are to my very existence – and to the existence of everyone who is reading these words.
Without the discoveries, methods, and tools of science, we would still be living in the “dark ages” surrounded by filth, sickness, decay, and death. In all likelihood, many of us would not be living at all because our very lives, and the lives of our parents, grandparents, great grandparents, and possibly even farther back – have been saved and or supported many times over by the findings, tools, and methods of science. How have I come to this conclusion you may ask? The answer is in the evidence I see all around me and in what I know best – my own life story, so I will use my story as an example.
July 1968. I was born. I was a bit premature yet I am alive and healthy today, why? Because doctors, medical science and engineering, and life support technology saved my helpless, somewhat premature-born life and therefore, I was able to begin my growth and development.
Me as a toddler with Farmer
I was never sickened or harmed/disabled/disfigured or rendered into compost by deadly diseases such as measles, mumps, rubella, smallpox, polio, hepatitis, diphtheria, tetanus, rabies…why? Because my parents listened to the medical professionals and had me – and my pets – vaccinated when we were young pups. They listened to the science that supports the evidence that vaccinations work, they protect us, our food, and our companion animals (and therefore again – us) from the hordes of microscopic infectious invaders that only seek (but not desire) to cause us harm (but not intentionally) for only their own uncaring, unthinking, benefit – the continuation of their life cycle and their species.
Ask almost any person older than 60 alive today and they will tell you the only thing vaccines cause is healthy adults, long life, and grey hair.
In light of current anti-vaccination related events I feel that I must expand on this subject a bit.
For the moment, put aside your preconceived notions – good or bad – about vaccinations and just think about the thousands of times a week you come in contact with other people and their human residue – their exhaled breath and flatulent out-gassings wafting on slight breezes, their constantly shedding germs that become the floating motes of the melting pot of humanity before joining forces with the minuscule bits and pieces of everything else to become a microscopic menagerie of human/floral/faunal/bacterial/fungal/viral/chemical and technological atmospherically delivered effluent that – with the help of your need to breathe to live – finds its way into the tacky folds of your nasal cavity before paying a visit to the fragile, warm, humid depths of your oh so sensitive lungs.
How many times do you ride in a friend’s car, a public bus, train, taxi and share this air with others?
How often do you open a door by grasping the handle – what grimy, nose, and buttocks picking, crotch-grabbing, bipedal naked ape fondled that handle only moments before you did? Where had they been? Who had they been with? Exactly what form of nasty had they been doing only moments before? Did they wash their hands after they did whatever or whomever they did? Did they just blow or wipe their snotty, runny, dripping, mucus, and booger-filled nasal cavity and then use their soiled paw to grab the doorknob/fuel pump handle that you just grabbed moments after them!?! Is that why it was sticky when you touched it?!!?
Eeeeewwwwww!
How often do you ride in the confines of an elevator/subway/taxi/Uber/Lyft/handsome cab with strangers? How often do you use rental bicycle, Lyme or Bird electric scooters? When was the last time you used an escalator or elevator? When was the last time you pumped gas or used an EV charging station? How often do you visit a public toilet? How often do the others visiting that toilet wash their hands…how often and how well do YOU wash your hands after touching your face, your genitals, and/or excreting your bodily waste products? How often do they/you then walk out into the restaurant and grasp the serving spoon on the buffet line – I shudder at the thought…
When was the last time you shared space with a friendly stranger in a coffee shop, a restaurant, bar, airplane, cruise ship? Where were they from? Did they just come from a trip to a highly populated city where they visited a crowded street market or maybe even a “bushmeat” vendor or “wet market?” Did they just come from a tour of duty doing humanitarian work in disease, war, or climate refugee camps on the other side of the planet? Did they just come from an ultra-orthodox anti-vaccination community on the other side of town? How would you know? They may be really interesting and very nice but now you are inhaling the air they just breathed out, and you are in-taking a portion of their germs – wherever they picked them up – yikes. How many times per day/week/month/year are you exposed to countless invisible invading armies of microorganisms that have been evolving alongside humans and the animals they hunt, eat, or keep as pets for hundreds of thousands if not millions of years? I am sure the numbers are truly staggering.
Food for thought from the Mythbusters.
The good thing for you my friend is this: evolution gifted you with an incredible immune system and it is constantly at work in the background protecting you from a large percentage of the armies of microscopic invaders that you are constantly assaulted by from all sides, surfaces, foods, beverages, strangers, friends, family, pets and even wild animals. Without your immune system doing its job, you and I would have passed away long ago. However, even though our immune systems are very good at what they do, sometimes an infectious agent comes along that beats our defenses and sickens us. Our immune systems then go into overdrive and eventually destroy the invader, remember it, and hopefully, we are never sickened by that particular baddy again. Then there are the germs that are hell-bent on the all-out destruction of their host. Germs that your body has little defenses to overcome. The high-yield nukes of the germ world. To fight these bad guys your body needs a little outside support from science, it needs some training in how to identify and fight these new enemies so when they try to get in again the immune system will remember them and be able to fight them off effectively without making you severely ill. This is where the science of vaccines come in. The fact that your parents (hopefully) chose to trust science and have you vaccinated when you were a young child now allows your silent army of immunity to quietly and quickly identify and fight off the invaders, therefore, allowing you to carry on with life as usual – blissfully protected and unaware of the microscopic turf wars going on inside your own body.
However, if you are not vaccinated, I wish you only the best of luck – but luck will not fully protect you – only science and common sense will. So please, use some common sense, wise up, and go get some science and go get yourself vaccinated!
In fact as I write these words (early fall 2019) only a few hours ago I received my Tetanus/Diphtheria/Pertussis (whooping cough) booster vaccination and yes, a few weeks before that I received my Influenza vaccination.
Yep, I am “vaxxer” 100% – and I am alive, healthy, and have gray hair in part because of it. I trust vaccines, I trust the medical professionals who invented them, I trust the professionals who administer them, and I trust the science behind why they work.
Why do I trust them?
1 – I trust them to protect me from the uncaring microscopic nasties that “want” nothing more than to use my body as an incubator for their offspring and then use me as an unaware, robotic-zombie-like delivery system to spread more sickness, pain, suffering, and death to all those around me…
2 – I trust them to protect me from the “anti-vaxxers.” The unthinking, irrational, the dangerously overly skeptical, and often conspiracy “theory” following, FUD spreading, individuals who choose to NOT trust medical science and then choose to NOT receive their vaccinations for themselves and for their offspring. These individuals are intentionally making very bad choices that make life much more hazardous for themselves, for their families, their friends, and for all of the other humans beings they come in contact with – directly and indirectly.
These anti-vaxxers either lack accurate knowledge, are resistant to facts, or they may lack the common sense and the highly developed critical thinking skills to understand that getting a vaccine will protect you and your loved ones from some of the nastiest, ugliest, most harmful, painful, diseases that have been all but eradicated since the invention of modern medicine. Diseases that are sadly making a comeback because of the bad choices of a small number of uninformed and/or irrational individuals.
3 – I trust them to NOT “give” me autism. Vaccines do not cause, give, or instigate autism. That is a myth perpetuated by Andrew Wakefield and his followers and they have no verified evidence to support their erroneous, fabricated claims.
Your future is in your hands and, if you are vaccinated – it is also in your bloodstream.
Being vaccinated I now feel a bit like a superhero with a force field around me – a force field of immunity driven and augmented by the findings of science!
Come at me now ugly germs – my immune system is armed and ready and you don’t stand a chance.
That brings us to today, and now there is COVID-19 to be concerned about. Luckily, just a few days ago I received my first COVID-19 vaccination (see next photo) and soon will receive my second and will join the millions of people all around the world who are working together with science to fight this new deadly viral scourge.
Next,more food for thought – this time, on Tetanus and what it does to the human body.
If you are still questioning how vaccines work check this out:
Speaking of germs and sickness, I am not free from all of them – no one is. In fact, we need our germs, the good ones, to keep us functioning and healthy – this is our Microbiome. Science is discovering that our microbiome is a huge part of our health and when your microbiome is suppressed or unhealthy due to stress, imbalance, or illness it can lead to other more life threatening conditions and infections.
I had have had many of the common – and some uncommon – ailments and issues that attack humans everywhere. Mononucleosis, Mycoplasma pneumoniae, many episodes of allergy-induced acute and chronic sinus infections, exercise-induced asthma, labyrinthitis, and reoccurring eczema-like skin conditions – all these conditions and situations could have developed into more serious conditions (and/or even death) had I not been given professional medical care and treatments, medications, professional recommendations, and allergy immunotherapy that combated all of the previously mentioned ailments bringing me back to a state of nominal health. So yet again, that branch of science we call medicine and those scientists we call doctors came to the rescue of this blood, bone, and meat-filled sack that I pilot around the planet daily and refer to as my body.
It is important to note that none of the before mentioned conditions were caused by my childhood vaccinations – or any other vaccination. They were products of my genetic susceptibility coupled with my childhood exposure to infectious viral, fungal, and bacterial organisms that are not dangerous enough to have a vaccine…yet. These germs – AKA the common cold and other similar yet rather mild infections – were shed by others around me while I was in school and I was infected by them but recovered using my natural immunity. However, how many times was I exposed to more virulent and destructive microorganisms lurking in the public environment of school, church, summer camp, the movie theater, the beach, the birthday party, the mall, etc…? Organisms that would have rendered me dead or disfigured had I not been vaccinated and therefore protected from those nasty little armies of vampiric little buggers that are only out to invade and use our warm, moist, meat-robot, bodies as incubators for their multitudes of dastardly little offspring…we may never know. But I do know that I owe my long, healthy life to those thousands of doctors and scientists who worked tirelessly to develop, perfect, and administer those life-saving vaccines and other medications – and to my parents who opted to have me vaccinated as any good parent would and should do.
Then there were the environmental and chemical irritants and pollutants that I was exposed to over my younger years. These irritants came to me in the form of “natural” pollen, dust, and dander while the pollutants came in the form of household chemicals and agricultural chemicals such as fungicides, herbicides, fertilizers, and other chemicals that were used by my family in our house, greenhouses, and on our farmlands. I was a child and had no knowledge that the toxic soup of chemicals I was being exposed to on a daily basis was harming my health via the oils, particulates, and VOCs I was inhaling as well as taking in through direct contact. My parents had no knowledge these chemicals were potentially harmful as it was the early-mid 1970’s and many of these chemicals were only just beginning to be used on a large scale so their impacts on human and wildlife health were not yet known to science. As a child, I was also exposed to even more diffuse/concentrated chemical pollutants that were the toxic by-products/emissions from fossil fuel-powered vehicles in the form of lawnmowers, tractors, old inefficient cars, and diesel school busses which, at the time, had limited to none of the emissions controls required today. Then there were the local energy generation operations – all of which were coal-fired at the time. These fossil fuel emission-based toxic atmospheric pollutants, combined with the chemicals and natural irritants I had been exposed to earlier in life, worked together to compound and exacerbated the damage to my young respiratory and immune systems resulting in the conditions that I suffer with to this day.
These allergies, sinus, skin, and other health conditions are now mostly non-existent but the ones that do occasionally resurface can be mitigated with the peer-reviewed recommendations from my doctors and their methods, tools and findings of medical science. Yay science!
Not that long ago I was possibly exposed to the Rabies virus while rescuing an injured animal. I quickly received a preventative Rabies vaccination series, and I am still alive and healthy – and now have a higher than your average human’s resistance to Rabies – again – yay science!
Later, I developed appendicitis – had my faulty appendix removed – and live on to this day. Again – yay science!
Appendicitis sux!
Then there was the time I was accidentally bitten by a wild Timber rattlesnake. I took an ambulance ride to the hospital, received antivenin (anti-venom), and made a full recovery. Yep, science yet again. Take a look at the video below if you are interested in my rattlesnake bite misadventure.
My point here is this: without science – I may not have been born and I would have died or been disfigured many times over.
Without science, I would not be telling you the story of my life so you can hopefully use my insight to help you make good choices for your life.
For all these reasons and so many more I choose to trust science.
If you are still here, and you are interested in what was going through my brain on the day I received my first COVID-19 vaccination – then feel free to watch the next video. It is my long-winded commentary on the value of science ending with my first COVID-19 vaccination.
I recently found this video being shared on social media outlets and it really helped me articulate and put into words what I have been feeling for…decades.
Like Bishop Spong, I do not believe in the traditional Christian version of a hell.
However, a hell on earth – now that is quickly becoming a measurable, visible, living, breathing, reality that we humans are quickly making for ourselves and all living things on terra firma…
Deforestation.
Habitat destruction.
Overconsumption of the planet’s resources.
The illegal wildlife trade for bushmeat, traditional “medicine, “pets,” and stock for wildlife parks.
Fossil fuel emissions creating a warming planet.
Nuclear weapons poised to launch.
Garbage/plastic and toxic chemical/biological/radioactive/pharmaceutical wastes/residues poisoning the soil, the waters, the air we breathe, and the foods we eat.
Wildlife species going extinct at a greatly accelerated rate.
An exponentially growing human and livestock population methodically eating the planet’s resources faster than they can recover.
Diseases jumping from wildlife to humans.
Then we have the lunatic-fringe humans. Those misguided, conspiracy “theory” driven, doubt, fear, and hate-spouting religious/political/hate-focused cult-like groups creating all kinds of crazy and supporting crooked mega-rich con-artist politicians/religious leaders/influencers out only for personal power, wealth, and control – all while building walls between each other and reality. Some of these radicalized extremists are even going so far as to recruit innocent others from obscure echo-chamber internet “social media” sites (such as the late Parler) with the apparent goal being to build armies of fearful, untrusting, often hateful, violent, and racist, followers and – if the events of January 6th, 2020 were any indication of their intent – are working to try and break down the foundations of our own democratic government and society in the misguided attempt to bring about their idea of a perfect world…and even in some extremely bizarre cases their bizarre idea of the “end times” – whatever that is. (It is really strange how fascinated and motivated many of these people are with death, and endings while at the same time their ancient belief systems keep them tied to the past, keeping them from accepting facts, evidence, reality, and therefore, keeping them from moving forward and truly living.)
It seems obvious to me that we humans are working very hard to create a living version of a hell – and there is no evidence of a god or devil pulling any strings to make any of this happen…it is only us. We are the hateful, selfish, and evil, demons, and devils and we are building a toxic hell in which to spend the rest of our days.
As Giordano Bruno stated before he was burned at the stake for believing other suns and other worlds existed and for thinking and sharing his knowledge with others –
“Your god is too small.”
IMHO as a lone human observer on the outside who once was on the inside – I feel that many religions are so very limiting of their god…whatever a god is. Is god a living (as we understand what it means to be alive) being…or is it living on a totally different level…so incredibly different and/or more advanced in its evolution than us that we are unable to recognize, communicate, or understand it with our limited intelligence and biology? Maybe it is a “force,” a Lucas-esque energy field existing outside our frame of reference…mabye it is a deeply intricate interwoven web of interconnections of mycelium-like structures sharing energy and knowledge between all living things – on a level we do not yet and may never begin to understand…or is it something to do with quantum entanglement, or dark/matter energy…mabye it exists on/in another dimension…or as an understanding/consciousness/awareness – something as far above/beyond our understanding/consciousness/awareness as we exist far above/beyond the understanding/consciousness/awareness possessed by the Chimpanzee, ants, or bacteria…I am open to the possibility that it may somehow, somewhere exist…and whatever “it” is, if it does in fact exist – and in all probability, it may not – but if it does, it may exist, resonate, as something we have not been or may never be able to “see”, measure, experience, or even postulate about….
…it is very possible that we, in all our superiority and hubris, are as the bacterium living upon the inner wall of the intestine of a random human being living upon a pale blue dot of a planet floating in the unfathomably vast ocean of space – a mere mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. Like that single-celled creature living its entire short life on the gut lining of you, or me – that creature cannot imagine or even dream about the thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, and desires – or even the very existence of the human being that it lives inside, the earth that human lives upon, the vast cosmos that blue marble floats within…but without all of these things working together that bacteria would not be able to exist. Therefore, we cannot and we should not try to describe “god” or “gods” without any concrete evidence to guide us in our attempt to describe and understand such things so far outside of our realm of understanding.
To think that we – a species so young in the history of the planet and the cosmos – with so much deep time behind us – to think that we puny, naked, multi-colored, bipedal, thinking apes can actually believe we have the intellectual ability to explain it all out by making up a few thousand evidence-lacking stories and creator beings and then calling those beings and stories the one and only ultimate truth and that, if you do not follow those stories exactly to the letter and constantly pay your homage, your time, and your hard-earned money to your chosen deity – that, if you do not do these things exactly as dictated in the ancient texts – that your “soul” will burn forever in agony in an imaginary lake of molten lava/fire/brimstone overseen by a grinning red warlock with a forked tongue, pointed tail, dragon-like wings, and a really bad attitude…all that, all of it is the ultimate form of hubris. It is also a complete and total cover-up, a camouflage, for the perfect business model designed long ago with the prime goal being to control gullible frightened people who were ignorant of the facts of how nature works in order to keep them in line and under control – and then take their money for the emperor/lord/king/headman/politician/pontiff gets richer and everyone else gets poorer. It was and still is; a business run by charlatans, hucksters, and snake oil salesmen out to get rich off the fears and doubts of the common people.
Sadly, so many good people are intentionally kept entirely ignorant of the amazing wonders of nature by the very design of the narrow-minded religions (and political institutions) they blindly and unquestionably follow – religions and institutions that suppress and censor real facts and knowledge as if it is somehow an unpardonable sin to know how nature really works. They then substitute their own manufactured fear, uncertainty, and doubt – their own version of the “facts,” – feeding them to their ignorant, bleating, chanting, followers…and the money keeps flowing into the hidden coffers of the rich elites running the show at the top.
However, once a person learns, understands, and accepts facts, evidence, and knowledge – that knowledge is powerful and it soon conquers their old fears and they wake up from their stupor, cast off their past, and are no longer a “sheeple” blindly following along in lockstep with the “flock.” They have become an enlightened, critically-thinking, awake, concerned for others, nature, and the future, person who can think with an open mind and open heart, and explore the amazing wonders of nature, life, the universe, and everything without the controlling, fearful, constricting, stifling, filter of a knowledge-limiting religion or political system making their decisions for them. They have become a truly free human being. A great example of this is what happened to the woman in the following video.
If you find yourself stuck in a dangerous cultish “religion” or toxic political following…
– please –
get out and get help.
But then, all my commentary is just my humble opinion based upon my ongoing observations of the world and the other humans around me and their actions toward one another and nature. There are 7.5 billion other “me’s” on planet earth – and they all have their own observations and opinions so it is not my place to try to force them to change their opinions or beliefs. I will, however, share my observations and my story and hope it gets some of my readers thinking about what this thing called life is, what it may be all about, and where we are all going.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” -J.R.R. Tolkien, “The Fellowship of the Ring”
Shifting gears a bit, some of you may think of volcanoes as hellish, destructive landscapes but it is most interesting to note that – after a fire, smoke, and lava-spewing hell-on-earth volcano erupts in the ocean it creates new land we humans call islands. This new land is later colonized by plants, animals, and people. This is nothing but a good thing – a gift from the god(s) if you will.
If a volcano erupts on land it may, for a time, lay waste to the surrounding countryside and the life therein – but soon – the countryside recovers and then, due to the nutrients brought fourth from deep within mother earth, it soon becomes one of the most fertile, life-producing places known.
So, “hellish” volcanoes bring future life and prosperity through the destruction of the past and the creation of the future and, if you are smart enough to get out of their way when you observe and understand their warning signs, then you. your species, and your society will benefit from the aftermath of their “hellish” nature.
Mother nature always knows best.
If mother nature were a corporeal being, in my minds eye – she would look something like this.
Maybe the “hell” we are going through on planet earth right now is only the death throes of a dying animal – the ending of an old, outdated, toxic way of thinking, governing, believing and living. Maybe, hopefully, after all the strife, craziness, and sickness has passed – a new type of human condition will, like the mythical phoenix, arise from the ashes of the fires of the ending of its hellish past and usher in a new era of enlightenment and freedom guided only by reality, evidence, logic, understanding, acceptance, and love.
I am frustrated at the apparent willful ignorance of so many people – people I thought were smart – acting like it is all a hoax, ignoring the science, promoting and sharing lame-ass conspiracy theories that have the potential to harm – or end – those who choose to believe, follow, and promote them.
In recent weeks the infection numbers have been rapidly growing and are higher than ever before. Yet – in many areas the restaurants, bars, bowling alleys, bleachers, beaches, party venues, churches, and streets are packed with people – many maskless and in very close proximity.
In the USA the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays are fast approaching as is winter. I have a great concern that many will ignore the recommendations of the experts and will chose to gather inside with family and friends to celebrate these traditional holidays. I fear that if this happens the infection rate will climb even higher and many more innocent people will suffer and die all because people chose to put their own wants over the needs of everyone around them. They will chose to willfully and deliberately ignore the recommendations of science as if they actually believe they will somehow be magically protected by their deity of choice.
Life does not work that way no matter how much you want it to.
Nature does not care about you.
You must care about yourself and those around you.
In grocery and hardware stores I have seen everyone from toxicically masculine macho men to young parents with their kids – all unmasked – closely mingling with others and acting as if nothing is wrong.
I have spoken to mask-wearing front-line workers in these stores and asked them how they deal with these maskless bandits stealing the health and lives of others. They say at first they were told by their superiors to enforce the mask mandate – but then, after extreme push backs and verbal attacks from these maskless partons – they were told to just let them in the door and stop enforcing the rule. Why? Are the store owners afraid of losing profits? Are they afraid of confrontation or litigation? Whatever the reason it just boggles the mind that a store owner would choose possible contagion over doing what is right – tossing the whining, tantrum-throwing, maskless bandits out on the street and telling them to not come back in their store until they are following the rules set by the store owner, the authorities, and by science.
When I visit any store/shop I always wear a mask. In fact, as I have an elderly mother and other family members who are more at risk, and as I am a school teacher – I must limit my chance of bringing an unwanted hitchhiking virus back to my students/coworkers and loved ones. So, when I enter places where I have noted low mask use – such as WalMart and Hardware stores – I opt to wear a 3M N100 full face mask custom fitted with an exhale filter. Yes, I get many odd looks from the maskless bandits but I do not care.
They look at me as if I’m some kind of fearful nutjob.
The reality is that I am not living in fear – I am living with facts.
I look back wondering what is the matter with them – are they really so blind to facts, do they really have no care in their hearts for themselves or their fellow human beings, could they be some of the blind followers of any number of the anti-science, bible waving, greedy ego-maniacs in politics, religion, and on the internet who think it is all a hoax and/or a way for the government to impart control on the population and/or are just using the pandemic as a way to profit off the fear and uncertainty of their followers? Are they all getting some kind of mental fix from this game of Russian roulette they are playing with their lives and with the lives of countless others?
I do not know the answers. What I do know is that I have given up trying to educate those people because no amount of knowledge I share will make them change their minds and listen to reason. It is almost as if they are part of a dangerous anti-science, masochistic, pseudo-religious, cult of toxic self-centeredness.
Sadly sometimes, we thinking types just have to toss up our hands and walk away.
We must continue to protect ourselves by staying as far away as possible from the maskeless bandits.
We must not give up or give in and we must continue to follow the knowledge and recommendations of the science from the experts.
We must do all these things as well as just curl up in the safety of our caves and just sit back and let natural selection run its course.
You have a lust for adventure (whether internally, externally, or both)
You’re willing to go beyond your comfort zone
You accept instability and a lack of security as a way of life
You’re independent-minded
You can be volatile and capricious
You don’t tolerate needy, clingy, judgemental or controlling people
You tend to be an unconventional thinker
You have a unique personal style
You’re a “rule breaker”
You’re artistic
You thirst for truth
You’re an innovative dreamer
And yes, despite a few differences, the descriptions on that list mostly sum up who I am. I am a unique kind of person who marches to the beat of a different drum.
I have also been called names – from geek, nerd, wimp, and loser, to bastard and all the other childish “knuckle-dragging” “lowbrow” profanities, and more recently snowflake, greenie, leftie, leftist, activist, and even “hippie hair” as I choose to wear my hair longer than other males of my species within the culture in which I live. Obviously, many of these insults were sent in my direction by my peers when I was younger and in school, however, the latter more divisive and politically oriented verbal attacks were far more recently.
So, my big question to all those who have called me different, those who have called me profanities and other names, those who have labeled or called me a “free spirit” (which, by the way, I am proud to be called), and those that have targeted and bullied me with fear, venom, and hatred is this; why would you, and why would anyone choose to target and attack others with hate and fear without first: 1. Getting to know the person you are targeting before you choose to attack them. 2. Investigating those ideals and hatreds you have chosen to support for the justification of their actions. Why would anyone willfully, blindly, and without evidence, logic, and without considerate calculation consciously choose to target others they do not know with hateful, hurtful, and harmful, words and actions?
Maybe one of the answers is connected to what E.O. Wilson said: “…we are a dysfunctional species. and why? because, we have paleolithic emotions, we have medieval institutions, and on top of all that, we’ve developed god-like technology and that’s a dangerous mix.”
I do not have the answers. Nor do I know if anyone truly knows the answers to these complex questions.
What I do know is as my mother said: “If you can not say anything nice, then just do not say anything at all.”
This I also know – I will always support anyone labeled “different” “other” or “free spirit” by society.
In fact, I most often prefer the individuals that carry these labels as these are the people who most often have the most interesting and beautiful hearts, minds, and souls.
Why? Because I am one of them and I am proud of my uniqueness.
To begin with: Yes. I am a nerd.
I am a wild nature, wildlife, technology, and science loving nerd.
I would rather spend time in the woods than in the shopping mall.
I would rather read a book* than go to a party.
*Just in case you are wondering my favorites include but are not limited to: encyclopedias and reference books, nature field guides, science journals, technical manuals, DIY and other informational books, science fiction, and graphic novels (aka comic books) etc.
I would rather sit around a campfire with a few good friends than hang out at a loud crowded bar or nightclub (especially in today’s world).
I would rather go fishing, hiking, or biking alone or with a close friend, than attend a sporting event or a concert. (especially in today’s world).
I would rather work with my car/computer/cameras/audio-visual/technology and energy projects rather than socialize with others.
I would rather watch Star Trek than any kind of sports.
Team sports do absolutely nothing for me.
Religion is not my thing.
Conspiracy “theories” are a maddeningly huge waste of time.
Politics is insane.
My heroes are probably not your heroes. For example, from the superhero/movie/TV/movie/fantasy world I most identify with Peter Parker aka: Spiderman, Doc Brown from Back to the Future, Han Solo from Star Wars, Jackie Chan, Radagast the Brown – a wizard in Tolkien’s epic story, and MacGyver. I wholeheartedly agree with and understand where Mr. Spock is coming from on so many levels and feel a kinship with Geordie LaForge from Star Trek the Next Generation.
From the real world my heroes/inspirations and mentors include: Stephen Hawking, Bill Nye, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Gene Roddenberry, George Lucas, Nikola Tesla, Elon Musk, Clare Patterson, Giordano Bruno, Galileo Galilei, Isaac Newton, Jacques Cousteau, David Attenborough, Hayao Miyazaki, the Dalai Lama, Chris Hadfield, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Colllins, Mike Massimino, Les Stroud, Greta Thunburg, both my adoptive and biological mothers and fathers, Ernie Kadel, Joe Woodard, Jim Hardy, and Bob Harris.
I believe it is crystal clear – I am what many would call a square, a dweeb, a nerd, or a geek and I am good with that.
I am a person who trusts, supports, and respects the logic and reason of the scientific method.
I am a person that trusts, applies, does, and communicates science.
I am a person that gets his vaccinations to help himself and others around him.
I am a person who knows the earth is round and exists within the solar system – the small collection of rocky/wet/dry and gaseous planets/moons and random chunks of ancient rock, ice, dust, and other cosmic flotsam and jetsam orbiting a rather insignificant yellow star in a somewhat remote corner of the milky way galaxy which is just one galaxy in billions that all had their start with a big bang some 13.8 billion years ago.
I am a living being who is a product of evolution. As this being who understands and supports the evidence and the facts supporting the theory of evolution by natural selection, I therefore understand that all living things on this watery space rock we call earth are related – closely and distantly – to each other through their DNA.
I am a person who understands and supports the evidence and the facts supporting that we humans are causing climate change by burning fossil fuels for the energy we need to heat and cool our habitats, produce our food and materials, and move our vehicles around the planet – with the natural consequences of these fuel choices adversely altering our planet’s climate and living ecosystems by burning up too many of these ancient dead things at too fast a rate for nature to be able to mitigate effectively.
I am a person who supports caring for nature – our only environmental life support system – above all other self-centered short term concerns.
I am a person who helps injured wildlife and picks up live serpents, (for rescue, rehabilitation, conservation, and education purposes only – and not in any way for any of the macho, toxically masculine, and/or bizarre, dangerous, and cruel, rattlesnake roundups or pseudo-religious snake-handling traditions.
Snakes are my friends
As this nerdy, free spirited person of nature, science, logic, and reason I believe that is is safe to say that had I been born in the middle ages I would most certainly have been labeled a heretic, a witch, possibly even possessed by “demons” and therefore deemed a threat to society by the narrow-minded fear-driven people of the day. More than likely I would have been held captive in a filthy rodent infested and rot infected hole or dank dungeon, repeatedly tortured, tried by a totalitarian judge, then finally – publicly burned alive as one of my heroes was. Giordano Bruno was tortured and later publicly burned at the stake for being a free spirit – he was horribly killed because he believed in the possibility of other planets orbiting other worlds and the possibility of life existing upon those worlds.
I’m sure had I lived in those narrow minded days I would have surely met the same fate. Like Bruno’s it would have been a gruesome fear-driven political-religious-control-focused jeering bully filled spectacle designed to use those individuals labeled as “different” as examples to keep the rest of the people living in fear, marching in line, and locked in blind servitude to the master-blaster-bully in charge – be they a power mad control seeking king/queen/bishop and/or ancient misinterpreted metaphorical words in a dusty old – and highly edited to fit their politics and profit margin – “religious” book(s).
So, with all that being said, I believe I can understand and relate in many ways how today’s nerds, geeks, dweebs, squares, free spirits, deep thinkers, people of color, people with physical and mental challenges, those on the autism spectrum, and those in the LGBTQ+ community, …and anyone else society labels as “different” than the “norm” whatever the frack the “norm” is… must feel when they interact with the all crazy-mean finger pointing hate-filled, xenophobic, anti-science, myth and superstition following, bully promoting world we have created for ourselves today.
This is why I will always support and stand with anyone labeled “different” or “free spirit” by society.
The good thing for us “different” folk is that in today’s world, those in power do not usually burn alive, hang by the neck until dead, feed to lions or other hungry beasts, leave us in the wilderness to die, or toss us into dungeons to rot – but sometimes, these things do still happen.
Sadly, however, the bullies of today, those individuals who – for some strange reason – feel somehow threatened by our differences such as our looks, our skin color, our genetics/heritage, our place of birth, our dialect, our actions, our choices, our knowledge, or or by any verifiable facts and scientific evidence we may offer up freely to everyone – these insecure knowledge-lacking (and sometimes knowledge-doubting) bullies still feel the need to attack those of us they have chosen to label us as “different” and/or to distrust and deny anything we science and nature nerds discover and/or reveal that has the potential to threaten the ancient and/or modern real and/or /imaginary thrones of power, control, and influence they wish to continue to sit upon.
Strangely, even with mountains of evidence to the contrary staring them in the face, these bullies will often choose to attack with hate and fear-filled, words, fists, and feet…and sometimes, in today’s bizarre world – stones, knives, ropes, fire, bullets, bombs, armies, and even the misguided movements of massive mountains of money and/or gigabytes of data full of manufactured hate, fear, doubt, distrust, and distaste.
These kinds of fear and emotion driven attacks are just so childish, so tribal, so illogical, so…primitive.
“When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper; They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.” – Chris Colfer
The hard part is coming up with a way to educate those who do not want to be educated. How do we teach the bullies and haters that the answers they are seeking are not to be found in their fists and venom-spitting fear of anything different than what they think they know? How do we enlighten them that there is a better road than the terrible dead end road they have been on for so long? How?
Sometimes it does come down to fighting back – but a true warrior fights back not with fists and fury, but with with calculated knowledge, evidence, compassion, and love.
If you are ever forced to attack an enemy bully in self defense, the best defense from that enemy is knowledge. Know your enemy. Know the bully. If you know your enemy, then your attack will be swift, accurate, educational, and will hopefully, it will never need to be executed again and the bully will have grown to become a better person.
Part Two.
Today I am totally comfortable and happy with being who I am…but many years ago I was not. I so desperately wanted to be included and be part of the “in” crowd. The pain of it all was often just too much to bear. There were times when I thought about ending it all but when this would happen I would play with my dog, just go for a walk in the forest, or go fishing. Nature was my healer. It always put me at peace. The trees, the wildlife, the flowing waters, the sun and wind on my face – all these things were my escape from the toxic little red-faced bullies in school.
I am also so very grateful for all the gentle and wise elders who – then and now – have taught me and are still teaching me how to see, how to hear, how to care for others, for nature, and for myself – I am grateful for them because they taught me the true meaning of life.
Clayton and Catherine were my adoptive father and mother who brought me into their home and raised me as their own child. They gave me a deep curiosity for why things are the way they are, in how things work, and they gave me compassion for others. The most important thing my adoptive parents imparted to me was this: be your own person, make your own decisions, find your own path, find your passion. Be whatever you want to be in life as long as it does good for you, for others, and for the future, it will be a good choice. I have carried this with me throughout my life and have made it my motto:
Do good things. Do good things for yourself. Do good things for others. Do good things for nature. Do good things for the future.
If it is not a good thing, if it harms you, others, nature, or the future – delete it. Extinct it.
Do only good things.
There was my friend and mentor, Ernie Kadel, an older German immigrant who fled his home country when the notorious bully Adolph Hitler came to power. Ernie lived his retirement years in the neighboring house to the south of my home. He was a wonderful person who taught me so much about how things work. He took me sailing in his Folbot folding kayak/sailboat. We played billiards in his basement. We worked on projects in his shop. We ate traditional German confections his wife Heidi made. Ernie taught me to care about people because no matter where they are from they all have a story and lesson to share.
Then there was May and Joe Woodard. They were Cherokee. They were wonderful people whose Native American ancestors had been greatly harmed by the choices of my European ancestors. They did not hold a grudge. They just shared their lives, their stories and music from their elders. They shared the value and importance of keeping nature close and working with nature instead of against it. I listened and have kept their lessons close to my heart to this day.
Then there were the neighbors to the north of me. I do not remember their names but I do remember their fights, their arguments, the bitter hatred of the red-haired wife and the meek quietness of the skinny husband. All they ever seemed to do is yell and fight with the wife doing most of the yelling and fighting – the bullying. One day I noticed the man limping in his driveway – he had a arm and leg in a cast. Their cars were undamaged so I could not help but wonder if she, in a fit of flaming fiery rage, had pushed him down the stairs. What I learned from them was that I never wanted to be like them. I was so glad when they moved away but I sometimes worry about that quiet little broken man and if he is OK.
There were the two American dads and their wives. These two men and their wives were the fathers of two of my childhood friends. Both of these dads worked in the same factory, had two kids, had nice wives and tried to give their families the best lives they could. I admired them for working so hard to give their families so much. What I did not admire was that one of them drank openly in his home, even building a bar and having get-to-gethers with friends while his young children looked on and learned that free-flowing alcohol is OK. Some may not see a problem here but I do because my adoptive father was an alcoholic and his vise led to his death at an early age. For one of my friends dads, his open acceptance of drinking led to the abuse of alcohol by one of his sons who was my best friend for most of my childhood. From these two families I learned some great lessons what was a good work ethic, how good parents treat their children, and probably more importantly, good lessons on what not to do.
In high school there was my my home room and shop teacher “Sarge.” Sarge was a wonderful country gentleman who taught his students with calm strength and calculated educational words of wisdom and guidance that, if you were really listening, would reveal loads of meaning. Sarge taught me how to listen.
My parents and my childhood mentors really helped me sort out the conflicting feelings I had been having in trying to deal with the bullies. They helped me see that the problems I was facing were not in me, they were in the bullies. While I did understood this, it did not help me take the rapid-fire bullying I was assaulted with on a daily basis.
A true story.
Way back in the early 1980’s when I was in junior high school I found myself sitting in history class when the teacher had to leave the room for a few moments. While he was out of the room I, and the other students, witnessed an overly muscled testosterone-soaked toxically violent bully beat a non-threatening autistic boy bloody in his classroom seat just because the autistic boy was “different” and would not speak to the bully. The autistic child did not move or fight back. He never fought back when the bullies attacked. He felt that fighting would put him on the sub-human, fear, and animal instinct-driven level of the bully. He was right.
He just unwaveringly took the blows of the fearful little bully’s clenched fists and the hateful words hurling from his venom spitting mouth and he later walked away, bloody and bruised – but on the right side of history.
The bully was expelled on this occasion and on many more for similar infractions.
The bully continued on through the next few years of junior and high school and then the next couple of decades verbally and physically attacking people (including me) for trivial reasons. He finally met an early end on the other end of a knife from someone he pushed just a bit too far.
The autistic boy the bully attacked – he grew into a man and is a “different” but productive member of society.
“People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.” ― Dan Pearce
Part Three.
Moving on through the rest of middle and high school I continued to be the target of many profanity spouting, hair-pulling, ear-flicking, red-faced little schoolyard, locker room, and back of the bus sitting bullies and no, at no time did my increased intake of spinach ever help me overcome their foul mouths and fat little clenched fists.
Why, because I was small in stature, “geeky,” “nerdy,” or “square” acting and looking, I sat in the front row in class because I was in school to learn – and the bullies always seemed to sat in the back row as far from the teacher – as far from the knowledge – as possible. I hung out with the nerdy/geeky/square/smart kids, I liked nature, wildlife, and science and engineering and working on bikes. lawn mower engines, and cars far more than sports and partying. I was also extremely introverted and not at all popular and then and now I did not and do not care about popularity nor do I want to be popular – I have far better things to do than to worry or care about what others think about me – that is their problem, not mine.
“I think the sooner that all of us in society stop accepting any type of bullying or harassment from other people – in spite of people’s social standing or net worth or whatever it is – the sooner it will stop.” – Jason Priestley
In school, and in life, I have always tried my best to fly low and maintain a low profile to avoid the bullies – but this tactic did not work for long because in my experience bullies always seemed to seek out the quiet ones, they targeted the those who fly under the radar – or perhaps I just did not fly low enough. Either I just wasn’t savvy enough to avoid them, or I was just unlucky because the bullies would always find me, and then do all they could do to attack and humiliate me for any superficial trumped-up “reason” they could find and then use to get a laugh from their friends (and sometimes even from those bully teachers and school administrators who are probably just grown-up bullies), and to somehow prop them up and make them feel stronger, popular, or somehow important (more like impotent) among their peers. At the time, when I was being bullied, all I wanted to do was to trounce them vigorously and viciously (like that kid in that old Christmas movie did) – but I never acted upon that urge because I am not a violent person and I also knew the bullies were very insecure, probably had horrible home lives, and many other problems. I knew the bullies were most likely hurting inside far more than I was hurting outside so I did my best to ignore them, I would stay quiet, not respond to their verbal attacks, and walk away when possible – I did not want to feed their attacks – feeding the fires of a bully only makes it grow into an inferno of rage.
“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.” ― Abraham Lincoln
On two separate occasions I did confront my bullies, this is how those instances played out.
One day in middle school my peers and I were queued up and filing into the kitchen to get our lunch. I knew one of my bullies was right behind me but I just ignored him. I could feel his eyes on the back of my head. I could hear his snickering with his other little bully friend. I heard them talking shit about me trying to get me to respond. I used my Jedi powers to ignore them.
We then entered the kitchen where there was a buffet type set up where, as the students filed through, they would tell the “lunchroom ladies” which food items they wanted which would then be deposited upon our plates. As I moved along the line and my food items were placed upon my plate the bully to my right leaned over and said in a whisper “your father is an alcoholic and you will be too.”
This was it. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I stopped. Frozen in my tracks. The bully stopped. The entire line stopped. I was like a stone. My fists clenched my lunch tray. I thought about smashing the bully over the head with it but I do not like disruption or confrontation so I placed logic over emotion and I regained my composure. I slowly turned to face the red-faced bully – who was now grinning from ear to ear reveling in his toxic comment. I looked him in the eyes and said calmly “My father died last week. If you ever again disrespect his name and if you ever speak to me again – I will destroy you.” The blood drained from the drooling little bully’s face. His greedy grin dropped to a fearful frown. He froze. Then he broke eye contact with me and looked down. I did not give him any time to comment and I turned and moved on down the line.
It worked because the little rat-fink never spoke to me again.
“A bully hides his fears with fake bravado. That is the opposite of self-assertiveness.” ― Nathaniel Branden
In the second instance it was a female bully I had to deal with.
I was in high school and had been instructed by the band director to load several folding chairs onto my truck and take them to a band concert and a nearby school. I and some friends were working to load my pick up truck and a hot headed bully girl came over and started yelling at me calling me names and saying the band director had told her that she could take the chairs. Yes, really – she was bullying me over the right to tote chairs. I stood there in the back of my truck getting screamed at for offering to help the band move chairs. Very strange indeed. I stood there and took it for about a minute and when it looked like the foul mouthed insults from the girl were never going to end I just said – “You want to tote the chairs, sure, you can tote the chairs -” and I picked up about 6 folded lightweight plastic chairs and tossed them on top of the girl and her friends. They all fell down in a pile of chairs, flailing arms and legs, yelling and crying and then got up and ran away yelling insults and saying they were going to tell the principle. Whatever. Later I was called to the office along with the band director. He backed me up and supported my story and the principle dismissed the incident saying they had often had trouble out of the bully girl and that she would be dealt with. She must have been because she never spoke to me again.
After graduation, my schoolyard bullying problems mostly ended and I never saw most of the bullies again and for that, I was grateful.
“Getting bullied in school taught me how to be strong, getting judged taught me to be better, failure taught me to be resilient and being made fun of taught me humility.” ― Mehak Bhalla
Part Four.
In many ways, today’s childhood bullying tactics are far more damaging than the face to face bullying of yesteryear. Today’s bullies often use the before mentioned tactics and then add in social media, email, and other online platforms to horribly and repeatedly attack their chosen targets any time they wish with deep cutting insults, humiliating lies, and harsh and hurtful sarcasm and even threats to life and limb.
“If you’re insulting people on the internet, you must be ugly on the inside.” ― Phil Lester
Sadly, childhood bullying is often ignored by school officials and some parents saying things like “kids will be kids” or that old “sticks and stones” thing that is true only in the physical sense – words can and do cut deeply and words cannot be unsaid.
Please be very careful and calculated with your words.
“Cyberbullying is Bullying. Hiding behind a pretty screen, doesn’t make it less hateful, written words have power.” – Anon
Bullying, verbal or physical, is a form of assault – it is a direct and harmful attack on another person. Sticks and stones may, in fact, break bones but words and actions have the potential to cut deep, lasting, emotional scars in sensitive people as they have done to me.
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” – Harvey S. Firestone
Harmful childhood bullying needs to be stopped. Do not stand by and let a bully get their way. If you do this you are telling them it is ok to be a bully. If you witness an injustice happen and do nothing, you then become part of the problem. Intervene.
Damaged children need professional help. If childhood bullies do not have help sorting out and processing their insecurities, pain and problems when young, they may very well grow into emotionally unstable adults who verbally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically (secretly and publically) attack anyone who threatens their position – whatever they believe their position to be.
When childhood bullies grow up to be professional bullies that resort to toxic tactics in the attempt to win or gain some perceived high ground, it shows how deeply damaged and insecure they really are. This happens more often than we know, from the workplace to the homeplace and even in churches and most definitely in the toxic world of professional bullying: business and politics.
If a young bully does not get help early on, it is very possible they may at “best” grow up to become members of the upper echelons of the workforce where they may fit in best as controlling, micromanaging bosses who continue to harm and bully others daily with their toxic tactics – all while calling it “business” – as if that somehow justifies their horrible treatment of others – it does not. It is possible these boss bullies may reach a “tipping point” where they will be unable to be helped and may then become a detriment to society…what then…maybe they become a member of the ever-growing prison population or, in rare cases, maybe even fearful, venomous, hateful, racist, xenophobic, nationalistic, self-absorbed, power-seeking politicians putting control and profit over people and planet…or in rare cases they may even become terribly destructive fear-driven, power-mad dictators such as Adolf Hitler…
“Bullying happens because weak people need to prop up their ego by beating up or humiliating others.” ― Bruce Dickinson
Part Five.
In many of my part-time, seasonal, and professional jobs over the years, I have been verbally attacked and insulted by workplace bullies – usually for the same infantile reasons why I was attacked as a child and young adult. These so-called “adult” people who bullied me were most often white males in positions of authority and occasional females as well. For me the adult bullying was more subtle, it didn’t come in a physical form but manifested itself in stabbing veral personal attacks and/or painful targeted harsh sarcasm.
“Freedom of Speech doesn’t justify online bullying. Words have power, be careful how you use them.” ― Germany Kent
In one instance a “boss bully” manager of mine would not give me a raise when the time came because I worked my job “by the book” – as he instructed me to do during the two-week training class I attended at the beginning of my position with the company. At a staff meeting where this regional manager was rewarding workers with raises for “a job well done,” he informed me that I was not receiving a raise because I was “slow, and needed to work harder and to cut corners in my work to increase my speed and therefore: increase company profits.” When I calmly said “respectfully sir, people’s lives are at stake so I will work as YOU and your company trained me – “by the book” – and therefore, I will not cut corners that would in turn, jeopardize people’s safety and lives just to increase the companies, your, or even my profits.” – he then jumped all over me yelling, making a scene, and slinging insults and cuss words at me telling me I was “fu***** slow, couldn’t keep up with “the rest of the guys”, would never get a raise, and had no place in the company and if I could not perform and that I should just stay home and play with my turtles.” All his other hand-picked brown nosing butt kissing corner cutting toady employees laughed at me with him and mocked me from then on. Shortly after this incident, I left the company. The bully was later fired for his bullying tactics. Karma, maybe…or perhaps it was a certain well-written report outlining all the on the job infractions this boss-bully had committed that was sent to his superiors – we may never know.
“The meanest people are the weakest people, for they do not even have the strength to believe in goodness. Do not let this be your life’s curse.” ― Sean Patrick Brennan
Over the years I have experienced many other instances of workplace bullying on the professional level and my response would usually be to remove myself from the situation and leave the company…leaving a full and detailed report of what led up to my resignation. It was revenge of the nerds pure and simple.
“If they don’t like you for being yourself, be yourself even more.” ― Taylor Swift
For others, it is not that easy. Many adults suffer daily bullying and harassment in their workplaces and it is not just us skinny nerds, science geeks, and goofy squares who are attacked – it is also women, people of color and other ethnicities, religious groups, those in mixed marriages, LGBQT+, “country” folk, “city” folk, physically and mentally challenged people, and people who are on the Autism spectrum. It often seems that anyone who is labeled as “different” by society are quick and easy targets for the small-minded, toxically masculine, overly macho, knuckle-dragging, status quo seeking type bully.
”Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
Then there is familial bullying – bullying among siblings, spouses and other family members. Often familial bullying is verbal and in the form of inflamed tempers, raised voices, personal insults, and/or harmful harsh sarcasm. This type of bullying may be fueled by money/job insecurities, alcohol, and substance abuse, and domestic disputes with one family member taking out their frustrations on another – oddly enough, with the aggressor often saying things like “I only do it because I love you” – riiiiight. This kind of verbal and emotional abuse may even lead to physical and sexual abuse.
You may not think this familial bullying is a big issue but you would be very wrong. Many people suffer familial bullying and abuse and never do anything about it, they just take it, day in day out – hoping the situation will get better or go away. Some of these people get wise and get out of the toxic situation by leaving the family, divorcing the bully, or calling the authorities, or even defending themself with force – but some do not and sadly, some, who cannot see a way out resort to committing suicide.
Yes, bullying can be that bad.
“People try to say suicide is the most cowardly act a man could ever commit. I don’t think that’s true at all. What’s cowardly is treating a man so badly that he wants to commit suicide.” ― Tommy Tran
If you find yourself in a similar situation – ask yourself, am I being bullied or am I being the bully? If you answer yes to either of these questions – seek professional help now.
“Bullying is killing our kids. Being different is killing our kids and the kids who are bullying are dying inside. We have to save our kids whether they are bullied or they are bullying. They are all in pain.” – Cat Cora
Part Six.
Sadly, and bizarrely, it also seems that in some places, those of us who work to support a better future for humanity and choose to unite behind the findings of science with the adoption of clean, renewable energy, ethical foods, coexisting among all “races,” respect of others choices of who they choose to love, and alternative transportation technology choices as well as supporting policies and regulations that protect air, water, nature, and wildlife – in other words, protectors of nature and life – we and our works are often horribly and endlessly verbally bullied online and even in public by those individuals that do not want, or are afraid to change – or that have large sums of money tied up in dirty, highly consumptive, often addictive, outdated toxic technologies such as fossil fuels or tobacco. There are even highly paid “think tanks” and other organizations designed to manufacture and cast about FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) on the facts and the science and to bully and harass the scientists who choose to share their findings and evidence with the world – findings, and evidence that, by their very nature, challenge the status quo. These scientists only want the best for the future of our species and yet they are attacked, ridiculed, harassed and bullied – just because they want to help society. Examples include: Clare Patterson (lead in gasoline), James Hansen (climate change), Rachael Carson (DDT), Robert Mark Bilott (PFAS) – and there are many more.
Hundreds of nature and wildlife protectors are attacked and die each year at the hands of hired thugs (grown-up bullies who are paid to be professional bullies) working to help huge corporations gain access to natural resources such as protected and endangered wildlife, forests, fossil fuel and mineral mining, land rights for expansion of humanity, and factory farms, etc. This is corporate greed sanctioned bullying and it often hits the indigenous and the poor the hardest – but it impacts us all.
“What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life?” ― Lynette Mather
I hope you see my point.
Do not be a bully. Do not support a bully. Do not vote for a bully.
Bullies are never working for you, they are only working for themselves.
If you are a bully, apologize to those you have harmed and seek professional help.
If you have a young bully in your classroom or home, or if you know an adult or a professional bully – please, help them get professional help for their sake and for the sake of all the other people they will wrongly attack throughout their lives if their bullying is allowed to continue.
Believe in good. Do good things. Be the change.
—————————————–
“No one heals himself by wounding another.” ― St. Ambrose
Being “different” in a world full of control freak bullies is a huge challenge, but it is who you are.
Do not be a bully, but be yourself and do your own thing even if it ruffles the feathers of those who would rather stay a sheep, conform, and fit in.
Who out there with an ounce of grey matter would actually decide to change who they vote for/support because they saw a name/slogan on a sign on the side of the road, on a bumper sticker, on a flag or banner, watched a mudslinging TV spot/interview attempting to harm a challenger, believed someone else’s gossip or manufactured drama, or put on an article of clothing with their insignia/motto stamped upon it?
Who with an ounce of grey matter would actually give their own money to these people so they can litter the planet with even more of their propaganda? The majority of these people have far more money than any of us will ever be able to even imagine and yet, somehow, they have conned good people to give them even more money. The insanity of it all boggles the brain.
I see all this me me madness as a pathetic and wasteful attempt to prop up all these insecure humans in perceived high places who seem to have a great need for attention, for competition – it is a truly weak attempt to satisfy a pathological need, an unhealthy all-consuming lust to win – at any cost.
What is this bizarre preoccupation some humans have to win, to be in control, to feel powerful, to be important, to be worshipped? I believe it is an evolutionary hold over from our – eat or be eaten us vs. them tribal days.
It is an illusion.
It is not working for us any longer.
It is time to stop the madness.
It is time to evolve out of the vestigial evolutionary tools of the past that have become dangerous delusions of the present that now work to control our minds.
It is time to grow up out of our tribal us vs. them childish evolutionary mindset.
If all these flag, banner and sign waving politicians and pontiffs would just stop trying to prop themselves and their followers up with hollow promises and just stop and think for a moment and use the brain they often boast that they have – maybe they would then realize how much time, energy, and money they have spent on all the ridiculous boasts, lies, signs, flags, banners, ads, commercials, and other single-use litter that serves no real purpose.
What if they actually decided to stop the endless competition, put their heads, hearts, knowledge, maths, and monies together, and started to work together to solve the big problems we have as a species?
What kind of amazing things could be accomplished if we could only stop competing with each other and start working together?
Sadly it seems that many of us are stuck fast in a deep rut. We are taught from an early age that we must compete with “the other” to get anywhere in life. We are taught that our side is “good” and the other side is “bad” and we are fed this illusion from all “sides” – at home with controlling parents, at school with grades, bullies, and competitive sports, at work with bosses and subordinates and climbing ladders, in religion with fathers, kings, gods and devils, good and evil, in politics and the military with the us vs. them mentality – until we are programed and conditioned to believe it is all true. We then blindly distrust those from the other “side” or the “middle” who show us any evidence to the contrary, we blindly ignore their facts, we choose to ignore common sense, we quickly toss out the science, we stop trusting and loving friends and family who do not fit into or follow our limited world view, we put our politics and religion above observable facts, love, and humanity – this is when we have become nothing more than mindless automatons controlled by the matrix that we ourselves created.
It is time to destroy the matrix.
It is time to wake up out of the bizarre mindset that politics and religion are the only way to exist as human animals.
There is more to life than this madness.
John Lennon famously asked us to Imagine.
Now is the time to Imagine what we could become if we could only step out of this destructive toxic box we have locked ourselves within.
What follows is a transcript of comments between my friend since high school Gordon Smith, myself, and other friends. This comment thread took place on social media outlet Facebook mid-summer 2020. Gordon contracted SarsCoV-2 (Corona virus/COVID-19) in July of 2020 and the following commentary outlines how it has impacted his life. Gordon and I have teamed up to bring his story to you and it is our hope that his experiences dealing with this new virus may give you and your family the knowledge, willpower, and ammunition to use against it to stay healthy and virus free.
7/19/20 10:10pm Gordon: Well fuck. Not tested yet, but no doubt I have it (COVID-19). Guess I have to make some serious lifestyle changes the next month. Ugh. Still in Raleigh and thinking I may go into UNC hospital in a bit. I literally feel like I am drowning in mucus. I have literally gone from oh it is not that over the last 3 days – to shit.
7/19/20 11:24 pm Gordon: Cannot breathe well and that just happened this afternoon.
7/19/20 11:36 pm Gordon: I am most definitely positive. 102 temp and every symptom plus driving and literally throwing up mucus.
7/20/20 4:15pm Gordon: Just got my chest x-rays. Walking pneumonia with a side of Covid. Lol
7/20/20 4:26 pm Friend: you tested positive for Covid-19?
7/20/20 4:27 Pm Gordon: Yeppers. Go big or go home eh!?!? Tested twice. Quick test yes, we shall see on the other one.
7/20/20 4:28 pm Friend: Ugh. Please be careful and follow their directions.
7/20/20 4:28 pm Gordon: OH I am and will.
7/20/20 4:35 pm Gordon: It is much worse. This hit me fast and made me panic. I literally made a will last night thinking I would be dead today. Lol… not dead…not as bad. Drove home from Raleigh and now working on what hotel I am going to go stay in.
7/20/20 12:10 pm Gordon: Wow….while sitting here at Pardee urgent care in Fletcher I have heard 11 (people), all men except for one girl child, say the exact symptoms.
7/20/20 12:28 pm Gordon: Ugh – bastards just did another covid19 nose jam test.
7/20/20 12:46pm Friend: When will you know?
7/20/20 12:48 pm Gordon: This test – a few days. The quick test was positive.
7/20/20 12:49 pm Friend: Oh hell. What are you going to do?
7/20/20 Gordon: Not sure yet. Got to find a place to go. Thinking the Marriott.
7/20/20 3:53pm Friend: Omg Gordon my new friend who I love. Fucking be careful.
7/20/20 4:14 pm Gordon: I am er was.
7/20/20 4:32 pm Gordon: Just got my chest x-rays. Walking pneumonia with a side of covid. Lol…oh yea, and a cracked rib too from coughing or throwing up!
7/20/20 4:44 pm Friend: That is a HORRID cough to crack a rib!
7/20/20 4:51 pm Gordon: Yea let me tell you!
7/20/20 7:17 pm Friend: My husband cracked ribs also, but in March, no tests … you are pretty much confirming he had it for me.
7/20/20 7:21 pm Gordon: That hurts! Did you have the thousand stabs breathing?
7/20/20 7:04pm Gordon: They put me on some drugs for the pneumonia but otherwise a wait and see what their test says. They are not relying on my other doctor’s quick test.
7/20/20 8:37 pm Gordon: It will be ok in time. Just hope I do not get any of the damage it seems to do to some.
7/20/20 7:02 pm Gordon: Lungs are sort of like hundreds of needles stabbing when you breathe. Otherwise I can handle the rest.
7/20/20 7:16 pm Friend: Are they keeping you or are you home?
7/20/20 7:19 pm Gordon: At home for the moment, moms next door with our neighbor/bestie. If I keep getting worse they said to go on to the ER.
7/20/20 11:32 am Gordon: So now getting x-rays at Pardee urgent care fletcher since my Doctor’s machine broke down. 7 people in the lobby here to get tested. My quick test was positive.
7/20/20 11:34 am Gordon: It’s like my head has opened up some sort of drain. Hose system. I literally feel like I am drowning in mucus.
7/21/20 9:57 am Gordon: Thousands of needles to my lungs when I breathe.
7/21/20 10:01pm Friend: How are you???!
7/21/20 10:02 pm Gordon: Not sure how to reply. One thing is better – like lungs and breathing I think – but seems to change every few hours. More things going wrong than right. I know this is a war not a battle.
7/21/20 10:03 pm Friend: are you up and able or bedridden?
7/21/20 10:05 pm Gordon: No I am up. I do feel like a truck ran over me. Sleeping about 16 hours. I, lol, am the son of another Gordon. We do not go down easily, nor does my mother!
7/21/20 11:08 pm Gordon: So wow…only about 18 hours of a med and my lungs are doing stupid great! No longer a thousand needle pricks on every breath – only a hundred! Kidney or liver issues maybe? Not sure. Going back to a Dr. tomorrow morning. Every fiber in my body aches like I have been run over by a bulldozer I would think. Severe headaches, nausea (Did not let the scrip happen) and severe pain every time I hack from the ribs and the whole inner cavity. I still feel somewhat that I have a faucet in my brain that is totally on tap flowing down my throat making me what to puke. Lol…SO I feel better basically! I think I can and will sleep about another 14 hours soon. So wear a Mask and a full body shield. And – and stay home. This is the worse I have ever been. Oh yea, also found my BP is now 142 over 110. So who knows – might still stroke out. BTW. I made out a will just in case. If something happens bad, it would please me if you all meet on the published day/night at Christie’s restaurant which you can eat whatever and drink whatever. I made provisions for a wake there. Also it will be great cabs.
7/21/20 11:10 pm Friend: Hang in there…. with luck, the worst is about to pass.
7/21/20 11:10 pm Gordon: Kind of do not think that since I really have crappy luck.
7/21/20 11:12 pm Friend: Stay positive… perhaps take heart in the old saying that only the good die young…you could be immortal.
7/21/20 11:14 pm Gordon: Oh no Billy Joel lives in me… I went to a catholic school with the bus driver Mrs. Adams playing that for us boys every trip to the YMCA from school! It stuck and I am not good!!!!!!!!!! ROFL!
7/21/20 11:16pm Friend: As a recovering Catholic, embrace the guilt and move on LOLOLOL
7/21/20 11:10pm Gordon: I am going to try and describe what is going on so you will know what you have to look forward too. I am running a 98 temp so I am cool as far as temps. Everything else sucks. I honestly feel like I am dying, imagining what that may be like. If I lie down I wheeze and need to sit up to breathe. I am taking 20 breathes a minute and they are all painful.
7/21/20 11:45 pm Gordon: Even though I am drinking about 3 gallons of water and a half a gallon of OJ a day – I am having sever Charlie horses that curl my toes about every two hours. That is weird.
7/21/20 11:46pm Gordon: I upped my daily vitamins by basically 8 times. Not all of them mind you but I have upped most of them knowing the body gets rid of the rest.
7/21/20 11:53pm Gordon: …oh yea…. severe chest pain on my left side but no radiating nor do I feel like and elephant sat on my chest. Nor any back pain. So no heart attack I think.
7/22/20 1:10am Gordon: I am doing 8 times me normal vitamins for the most part. I am more worried about my heart, liver and kidneys at this point. I am now thinking no more 100 years as I thought I would make it. More like 80.
7/22/20 1:11am Gordon: One of my friends in China that was in Wuhan is my age and now doing mini strokes – blows her and my minds.
7/22/20 1:22am Gordon: I always think of “Ming and Joe” that were there. They saw it firsthand.
7/22/20 3:05am Friend: If you need to go to hospital, don’t hesitate. I’m sorry you are going through this, my friend.
7/22/20 9:31 am Gordon: Wear a mask, face shield, and gloves buddy. You do not want this!!
7/22/20 10:20 pm Friend: Feel better buddy! Get rest and see the doc. We have been down a week now and just got negative Covid tests. I still wonder if we would have tested positive 2 days after…
7/22/20 10:27 pm Gordon: This is a mother I can tell you this. Never been this sick in my life and I had cancer once! Hope you do not get pneumonia like I did. Had a lot of tests done today on my liver/kidneys/heart, and blood. Time will tell.
7/23/20 6:43 am Gordon: Wooohoooo! Woke up this morning without the constant mucus flow (Or brain leakage as I call it) at 1000%. Now it is at maybe 25%. Here is to hoping that symptom is gone soon. The Steroid will help with breathing I was just put on. The cough is the MF’er with the cracked rib. Highly irritable missing my great wines and work.
7/23/20 6:51 am Friend: Maybe you’ll come up with a covid cookbook? I heard you should never let a good crisis go to waste 🙂
7/23/20 6:52 am Gordon: Oh trust me on this one…you do not want to eat or drink. Just drink lots of water.
7/23/20 8:03 am Friend: I hope you’re turning the corner!
7/23/20 8:04 am Gordon: Ah other things are crappy but this one is good!
7/23/20 8:38 am Friend: How are you? This is pitiful. 😩
7/23/20 8:39 am Gordon: Got to agree. Lol
7/23/20 8:40 am Gordon: I am posting so some of my FB friends that still disagree with masks face shields get to know what is coming their way.
7/23/20 8:48 am Friend: I hope it works. So many that I know still believe it’s just political non-sense. I hope you feel better soon. 🙁
7/23/20 8:50 am Gordon: So now I have 3 FB friends that have had it or going through it now. (Won’t out the other 3, but one is now a believer!)
7/23/20 8:52 am Friend: I think it takes some people to have that up close and personal experience to believe it. I just wish it wasn’t that way. But, either way…I’m proud of you for trying. ❤
7/23/20 9:10 am Friend: Keep feeling better, bro. So sorry you’re going through this.
7/23/20 9:12 am Gordon: Thanks. This has a lot of complications. Mask and face shield up!
7/23/20 9:15 am Friend: I don’t go out in public without mine.
7/23/20 9:36am Friend: Happy you are getting better. 🙏😁
7/23/20 9:36 am Gordon: One thing is…others not.
7/23/20 10:05 Friend: 😢 Sending prayers
7/23/20 1:56pm Friend: Don’t get too comfortable … treat yourself like you’re sicker than you are because it WILL sneak back up on you…
7/23/20 1:11 pm Friend: Are you serious about the cracked rib?
7/23/20 2:44 pm Gordon: Oh yea. I had a GF about 15 years ago that had a daughter that jumped on my chest and even though she was about 40 pounds she cracked a rib. I coughed so hard it re-cracked.
7/23/20 9:20 pm Gordon: Was told no more steak. So I bought one more for myself. 3#s Angus. I’ll gnaw on it for 3 days. Too bad I cannot smell or taste the damn thing. So onto other news. Fever running 101.4 all day. Mucus is almost nothing. (In other words not swallowing every 20 seconds) might have kidney, liver and heart damage. No idea about the lungs. I am having memory issues. Went to do something I have done thousands of times and totally had no clue today. BUT!!!! I was smart enough to open mom a Justin cabernet with her steak ($25) Instead of the good stuff since I had to have a few swigs. Soooooo – I STILL HAVE SOMETHING UPSTAIRS THAT HAS NOT LEAKED DOWN ONLY TO BE SWALLOWED!
7/23/20 10:46pm Friend: I’d rather be dead than not be able to eat a good steak…be careful of what I wish for…
7/23/20 10:51 pm Gordon: Yes, Mask and Face Shield up! Steak is not worth death. Found out a lot with this Covid19 and testing. I am over weight as we know by 42#’s. My heart is not in good shape nor kidneys or liver. Excessive living, even though I prefer Seafood. Time to make that change. Just wish the gyms were opened. Called an old buddy who was in the Army Special Forces who will come get me out of bed 5 days a week when I am better and force me to work out and get back into shape.
7/23/20 10:52 pm Friend: I have the same issues… I’m fricking 64 and… Never mind! Get better!
7/22/20 10:28 pm Gordon: Oh by the way – reason #36 why you need to wear a mask, face shield, and gloves: Constant diarrhea. Yea, smells like roses.
7/23/20 2:36 am Friend: Yer gonna get sued by Roses for this post 😉
7/23/20 3:13 pm Friend: THAT’S where all the toilet paper went! No, seriously, that could be from your huge antibiotic.
7/24/20 10:24 am Gordon: Day 6 of having this crap. Woke up with excellent oxygen saturation. Whew. Morphed onto my sofa the last 16 hours since the bedroom is 20 steps away. My doctors are worried about heart, kidney and liver damage and have tested. I am more worried about my mind. Forgetting things I know and that is terrifying. I was good wearing good masks (n100s) but not always wearing my glasses that wrap around. I bet that I got this through my eyes. Wear a face shield!
7/24/20 12:27 pm Gordon: People really got to realize just a great mask is not enough. Eyes are the easiest way to get it.
7/25/20 8:33 am Me: Hey Gordon, how are you feeling today and what are your symptoms looking like? Also, what are your thoughts and recommendations to all the people out there who think this thing is “just a little cold,” or a manufactured hoax, government/election year plot, conspiracy to control people through mask-wearing, forced vaccinations…yada yada yada?
7/25/20 11:20 am Gordon: Wow…new record. Just took me 15 mins to make 2 packages of instant oatmeal, a new personal best record for me this week. Betting Webster’s this week replaces my picture for a sloth.
7/25/20 11:22 am Gordon: Day 7. Slept in until 10 am. Took O2 reading of 86. (Get an oxygen reader everyone) that is going the wrong way. All usual symptoms still here. Headache, fatigue, (getting off the sofa is not easy), diarrhea, cough, pain from broken rib, forgetfulness, fog, mucus overflow, and weird sharp pains. Daily routine is drinking 12 33.8 oz Smartwaters a day, refilling all of them, in addition to 1/2 gal of OJ. Vitamins all along. Steroid inhaler, horse pills (Augmentin) zinc, vitamin d, and melatonin. Sleep of 16 hours a day. Water in water out, that’s my big day. Keeping the house at 65 and still sweat? No desire to eat but planning grilled swordfish tonight with a leek and caper Amish butter, saffron rice and haircut de vert. Normally I can whip that out in 30 mins. This is going to take all day to prep.
7/25/20 11:37 am Gordon: I still know a few FB friends that do not believe nor think masks are needed. I sort of agree with them. Like my 2 friends in china that did not go out without proper PPE being a full respirator mask. I am now using the 3m 6700. IF your eyes are not protected you will get it if you walk through where I just exhaled and you walk through it. I know from them and was posting on this timeline that many were dying in China and they literally stopped counting over there. MY friend “Ming” was there trying to get the word out desperately about what was happening and what was coming to the rest of the World. (Going to nominate her for CNN’s annual awards) I think the idiots that think this is political and a “Control” thing are so fucking nuts that I get rid of them pretty quickly now. Personally I have offered to buy them beers and come on over and let’s discuss in person and keep the mask at home. Steve O’Neil – all I really know and see now is our country needs to start spending a lot more money on mental health since there are a lot more unstable people out there then we thought there were. I get the boomers who have no education but now I see people we went to school with being a complete wacko on 5G etc. etc. etc. I also think it needs to be some sort of crime to deliberately publish untrue information and that FB and Twitter now do need to be regulated and have to flag all potential garbage and have consequences for publishing it. It is all a mess. I have been spending weeks looking at property in the south of France. 450k buys a good 8 acres with a nice little 3 bedroom home with insane views and a very nice quiet life. I have my escape plans.
7/25/20 1:59 Me: Yes, same here. I find it hard to believe that in today’s world with so much access to peer-reviewed science-supported facts – that so many people still choose to ignore those facts – on so many topics – and instead choose to believe the fear-driven conspiracy theories around the pandemic…and the shape of the earth, the existence of gravity, the moon landing, “chemtrails,” vaccines, 5G, Bill Gates, microchips, Chloroquine, alien “demon spawn/sperm”…so many lunatic-fringe type wacko things. I suppose it is just a sign of the times but they can say what they like, I’m always choosing the peer-reviewed science and reason over the fear mongering, evidence-lacking hearsay, and conspiracy-minded madness. I have a P100 respirator half mask on the way in the mail. I plan to use it when I have to go anywhere public or when I visit my mother. I would feel horrible if I visited with her and she came down with the virus after I had picked up her groceries for her. I don’t know how I would live with that. The new mask does not have eye protection but your story now has me considering a face shield to wear over the respirator. You are so right about mental health. So many people seem to be stuck in a crazy downward spiral of ignoring the facts and believing and sharing all the fear-mongering – it is really scary. I have had to delete one person already because they continuously trolled me on almost every factual post I shared about almost anything. They just attacked and ignored reality and substituted their own manufactured idea of reality. It was truly bizarre. I am not sure what the answer to all this is but I do know that following the lead of science is a great place to start. I also know that my students give me great hope for the future. They are so smart and focused and they despise the hate, injustice, the racism, and the sleazy, perverted, greedy old men wanting to run everything with only profit in mind – when they become adults they will oust the greedy warmongers and doomsayers running things now and hopefully, the world will change for the better. The respirator mask I ordered: https://www.amazon.com/GVS-SPR451-Elipse-Respirator-Medium/dp/B013SIIBME/?tag=theedcmaga123-20
7/25/20 2:00pm Gordon: You got to protect your eyes! We know it can hang in a spot I just exhaled for 2 hours in the air.
7/25/20 2:02 pm Gordon: I am really sure that is how I got it.
7/25/20 2:11 pm Me: Do you have an idea of where you may have picked it up?
7/25/20 2:12 pm Me: Whenever I am in a store I constantly listen for coughing – if I hear it, I immediately go the opposite direction.
7/25/20 2:13 pm Gordon: Yes I am very sure I did (get it) on July 4th when all the out of towners invaded Hendersonville. I went out and wore my usual to get to my bar seat that was well away from everyone until the out of towners from GA, SC and Fla ordered drinks right next to me.
7/25/20 2:14 pm Gordon: Coughing is Number one on my radar too and I know the cough since I had it in Jan/Feb and now again.
7/25/20 2:14 pm Me: Damn. Yep, that sounds very plausible. I am staying away from all bars, pubs, restaurants, any public places where people from out of town – and now locals who think it is a hoax – may mingle.
7/25/20 2:17 pm Me: I also have a very strict sanitation regimen I have been using since April to help keep COVID out of my home, my classroom, my students, my friends, my family…and my body. I can trust myself to do all these things and take all these precautions – but the hard part is trusting others to do what is right for themselves and for everyone else they may come in contact with. I just cannot understand how some people ignore the facts and put their own selfish interests first while endangering others in the process.
7/25/20 2:18 pm Gordon: Asheville and Hendersonville are over run now with outsiders but now our local population has it. When I was getting tested last Monday in the hour I was there 11 others came in hacking. 9 men (Construction types) 1 woman, and a 11 yo girl. All had the same symptoms. 7/25/20 2:21 pm
Me: same here in Brevard. People everywhere, acting like nothing is wrong. I understand that people are done with this, but this is not done with us. Until we have a vaccine and/or better treatment – nothing will get better unless people just toss out their wants and focus on taking care of each other over their own personal desires. That is nuts…so many, so fast…
7/25/20 3:57 pm Me: It (my new mask) came today. I’ll be closing off the outflow valve to protect others from me.
7/25/20 3:57 pm Gordon: shop goggles?
7/25/20 3:59 pm Me: yep, they should fit over my glasses.
7/25/20 4:00 pm Me: Some may say I’m living in fear, but no, I’m living with facts.
7/25/20 4:15 pm Me: So true. My healthy fear of getting this thing is far lessened by my trust in the facts and the recommendations of the experts. Sure, I could still get it but I believe I have greatly reduced my chances by taking all the recommended precautions and then some…and soon an eye shield as well. I think that part of the problem some seem to have with the science and the recommendations of the experts is that they are often changing with new scientific findings. This uncertainty causes some people to mistrust the experts and science in general. This just shows that many people must not have listened in school when the teachers/professors told us that is exactly how science works – especially when something totally new comes along that not much is known about such as SARS CoV-2. The scientific process is not perfect, but it is far better than doing nothing, calling it and a hoax, and all the other anti-science nonsense floating around on the interwebs. Healthy fear keeps us healthy. Healthy fear allows us to improvise, adapt, overcome and evolve to meet any new situation life may throw at us. Editor’s Tangent. While what follows was not part of the original social media comment thread, it is relevant in the context of this post. As of 8/9/20, and due to your experience Gordon, I am no longer taking any chances when I need to visit a public place such as a grocery or hardware store and I am now using this mask which protects my mouth, respiratory system, and my eyes from almost any possible infection.
Here’s a photo from a few days ago…and before anyone asks – yes, I have added a filter to the exhale port to protect others.
When I wear this thing I feel like a cross between an astronaut and a SCUBA diver with a little bit of dark lord of the Sith thrown in for good measure. Do I care what people think? In a word: no. I know that some people will see using a mask such as this (or any mask) as living in fear or overkill or both, but I do not – I see it like this:
I wear PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) and other specialized safety/protective equipment when needed for any other potential hazard to life and limb. For example: I wear rubber gloves, mask, and goggles when treating someone else’s wound, I wear a face shield, gloves, and chaps when chain sawing and weed trimming, I wear leg gaiters and use grip extending tongs and hooks when working with venomous snakes, I wear a filter mask when painting or working with chemicals , I wear boots for walking over challenging terrain, I wear insulated gloves in the winter, I wear ear/eye protection when using power tools or target shooting, I wear a helmet when riding a bicycle or caving/rock climbing, I wear a seat belt when driving, I wear SCUBA gear when diving, I use a flashlight at night, and I wear clothes at varying thicknesses depending upon the current environmental conditions (yes, clothes are PPE). So yes, just like all these other hazardous/potentially harmful activities – I choose to wear a filter/respirator mask when I am placing myself in situations where other animals or human animals may be carrying an infectious disease that has the potential to sicken, harm, or end me – and especially when some of those humans choose to endanger all of us by choosing to not wear a mask when in public during a global viral pandemic.
I am my mother’s healthcare care-giver. I do not want to take a potentially deadly disease to her or her friends. If this happened, I just do not know how I would be able to live with the knowledge that I was the vector of the pathogen that harmed her or someone else.
I am an essential employee and I do not want to take a potentially deadly disease to my students and coworkers. If this happened, I just do not know how I would live with the knowledge that I was the vector of the pathogen that harmed someone on my watch.
I would rather spend a onetime cost of ~$200 on a top of the line mask and filters, than the tens of thousands of dollars I would need to spend on treatment for COVID-19…and the costs associated with being out of work during a battle with COVID-19…and the potential of losing my job due to possible life-long health complications that could arise from having COVID-19.
If I came down with covid-19 – my wife and I could lose everything. Therefore, I am going to do everything in my power to not let that happen. If wearing a huge ugly mask in public, staying home and staying away from public places/gatherings as much as possible, physical distancing, following the recommendations of the infectious disease experts, listening to the science, and washing my hands a bit more is the only recipe available to keep me and my family, friends, students and coworkers as safe as possible from this monster of a virus – then so be it. I will do all these things until a time when either the experts say it is safe to resume “normal” activities and/or a vaccine/treatment is available and infection numbers start to drop.
After COVID-19 has passed into the history books I may continue to use the mask for other things such as but not limited to; breathing in very dusty conditions, breathing while painting things, breathing during a forest fire, breathing in the event of another epidemic or pandemic, breathing while working with hazardous chemicals (not that I ever do this – but now I will have the PPE if it ever comes up), breathing and surviving a chemical/biological attack from a domestic or international terrorist, or a “zombie apocalypse,” etc.…
I am not living in fear – I am living with facts. Now, back to Gordon’s story.
7/25/20 4:17 pm Gordon: Not to mention those that think “god” is going to protect them from COVID or has predetermined if they will live or die.
7/25/20 4:23 pm Me: Exactly – those folks are totally lunatic fringe dwelling wackjobs. Best to stay far away from them.
7/25/20 1:33 pm Me: Looks like it is a war for sure. Hang in there man, don’t let this thing get the best of you. Keep up the sleep, antibiotics (you may want to consider taking a high quality probiotic if your doctor agrees – it may help with the intestinal distress caused by the virus and the antibiotic – Augmentin really ripped me a new one once when I had to take it but probiotics literally saved my guts), lots of water and other therapies and hopefully the swordfish will help – I had a slab of salmon for breakfast 🙂
7/25/20 1:34 pm Gordon: All good advice. Doing yogurt.
7/25/20 1:34 pm Friend: How’s your O2 sat?
7/25/20 1:35 pm Gordon: Crap….86 waiting patiently for my new Oxygen machine to arrive via Amazon today.
7/25/20 1:31 pm Gordon: Here are links to what I have bought and am using to combat this crap.
7/25/20 1:45 pm Gordon: Had a UV system put on my HVAC a few days ago. Combo UV, Ionizers and Ozone units I am thinking with HEPA Filters
7/25/20 1:47 pm Friend: I live in the desert where dust is always an issue. Buying a BlueAir purifier has been the best investment for improving the overall air equality inside my villa. This might help in your journey. Any particulate matter can impact your lungs as you recover from covid.
7/25/20 1:52 pm Gordon: Just bought this! Blueair Air Purifier
7/27/20 7:14pm Gordon: Day 9 beginning to wonder if this crap will ever end. My cough has stopped for the most part. My oxygen level is holding well. Got my test results back and my liver and kidneys are fine. Lungs….eh. Glad I am not a smoker. I am going to buy a new sofa since this one is starting to smell like me, since I rarely leave it. This sucks. Wear a mask and a shield.
7/29/20 9:05 am Gordon: Day 13. Way better. Tired beyond belief. Other symptoms almost done. Lungs are now wheezy and that might be permanent. Liver and kidneys are good.
7/29/20 9:12 am Friend: Is your doctor telling you it might be permanent? So glad you’re feeling better though. Don’t overdo it.
7/29/20 9:13 am Gordon: Yes. Asthmatic now. No marathons in my future – or Cuban cigars.
7/29/20 9:15 am Friend: I wouldn’t listen to them just yet but I’m stubborn like that. You’re still not over the illness. Try not to worry just yet. It hasn’t been two weeks yet, right? How can they say that when it hasn’t yet been two weeks? I’m not a doctor but that seems alarmist. Probably best on the cigars though. 👌
7/29/20 9:16 am Gordon: Everyone is different of course, but they are going on info from what has already been seen throughout the world.
7/29/20 9:17 am Friend: I have heard it takes people time to regain their senses sometimes. Taste and smell.
7/29/20 9:18 am Gordon: and the “fuzziness”
7/29/20 12:24 pm Friend: Glad to see that you’re feeling better. I hope that you continue to heal completely and have no lingering effects.
7/29/20 5:23 pm Gordon: Well, that is all kind of suck news. I need to see a cardiologist now. Had an EKG scheduled next week and got in early.
7/29/20 6:35 pm Friend: No way!! That’s insane and absurd! I am glad your liver and kidneys are OK
7/29/20 7:18 pm Friend: Glad you are on the mend!!!
8/02/20 10:23 pm Friend: Feeling a little better?
8/02/20 10:25 pm Gordon: 100% better. Still have the lung crap and asthma now but otherwise looks like I beat it for now.
8/02/20 10:25 pm Friend: I’m very glad to hear that! 😁
8/02/20 10:26 pm Gordon: Me too! Making some lifestyle changes which were needed. Got to prolong the ticker as long as I can.
8/8/2020 Gordon: Just looked and it is hard to believe this all happened as fast as it did. I am a lucky one. My favorite bartender in Raleigh age 26 died first in March. My next door neighbor in Raleigh, a marine with 5 kids in excellent shape, age 41 died after 5 days getting it somehow. My attorney, 61 died in Brevard. He did have underlying issues but Covid took him out, and my mom’s best friend’s mother got it and died in 3 days. She was 94. So knowing these people – I am lucky. I have heart issues they detected using an EKG comparing it to one I just had 6 months ago along with blood tests. I now have asthma. I have a lot of times now where I feel I cannot breathe and hit my oxygen concentrator machine I bought during the illness. I never spent a night in the hospital but still have $17,482.15 in bills. I got to say I really thought I was going to die the second day I knew I had it. I started feeling bad on a Thursday 7/16 and by Friday 7/17, I thought that was it! I was in a panic trying to get a will done fast to make sure mom was going to be fine. I have no real symptoms now. The cough, fever, headaches are gone but the “fuzziness” is here as is the complete lack of energy. I feel like I am around 20% of my usual 100% energy level. To be honest sometimes it is hard to type. Before I came down with the monster that is covid I was pretty careful but I know I could have been more vigilant. I hope whoever reads this understands the fact that this is a terrible virus and it will not go away until everyone masks up, uses a face shield, gloves, and limits contact with everyone. Deaths today on 8/8/2020 are 161,682. I bet that number is larger but politics are now happening so who knows what our numbers actually are or will be, but having gone through it I would not be surprised if our death rate here in the US goes up 4 or 5 times this number. Good Luck Gordon S.
Update: Since Gordon’s last post he is doing a bit better but continues to have unusual cardiac and neurological after-effects from the virus. He is continuing to receive medical care and hopefully, in time, he will fully recover. While Gordon is doing better and on the road to recovery – the people close to him who were taken by this virus are forever gone, their friends and families in mourning, their human social and emotional support networks forever disrupted.
The lessons we should all take away from Gordon’s experience – if not plainly obvious – are as follows: SARS CoV-2/COVID 19 is a very real, very dangerous, potentially debilitating, and sometimes deadly disease.
This virus does not hunt for you – you hunt for it. You are its habitat – but only if you let it infect you.
The best way to keep from finding it and to keep it out of you is as follows: Stay away from places where it concentrates – places where there are high concentrations of other people – especially people you do not know that may have traveled from other locations.
Listen to and follow the recommendations of the infectious disease experts. Yes, these recommendations may change, that is just how science works. It is up to you to listen and adapt your life to any new information they may provide.
Just because a politician or other talking head on TV says it is OK to open the doors and go back to business as usual again – do not fully trust them – they are not infectious disease experts and they are not always following the recommendations of those experts when they make their – often profit over people based – decisions. Make your decisions based on the recommendations of the infectious disease experts. Until the time comes when the infectious disease experts say it is safe to go back to business as usual, Gordon and I and the infectious disease experts suggest the following:
Stay home. Work from home. Enjoy your newfound home life. If you must go out – please wear your mask and other PPE. Physically distance yourself from others. Wash your hands – often.
Trust science. Be patient. Science takes time. Love one another. Stay healthy.
Gordon Smith, Steve O’Neil, and friends – October 2020
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