A personal history lesson that may inspire others to get some much-needed mental and spiritual health help.

Please keep in mind if you choose to read this: I did not write it as an attack on anyone’s personal beliefs/politics etc., your beliefs and political choices are yours and yours alone.

What follows are only my own personal experiences, observations, and opinions on these establishments, as well as a deep self-analysis and critique of myself and of the system we humans are born into and are often told we must just accept as “This is just the way things are.” – without ever questioning any part of it…or else!

It would have been far easier on me if I did not choose to question any of it, but thats just not me. I have always asked the questions many fear to ask.

Therefore…

I have chosen to share this with you in the hopes that my story, my observations, my informed choices based on the answers (and lack thereof) that I have uncovered and discovered, may serve to offer you some insight into your own decision making process.

If my choices, thoughts, and words, upset, offend, or anger, you, I apologize, that was not my intent.

However, your offense or anger at my thoughts, observations, and personal opinions may in fact suggest that there could be some truths in what I have observed, truths that only you must confront in order to grow as a concious, thinking, human being.

Let us begin.

When I was growing up, my developing, impressionable young mind, and later my young adult mind, was frequently subjected to what I now see as intentionally targeted religious and political trauma. To use some of the now common derogatory catchphrases being passed around by those seeking to mold and control the minds and actions of others;

I was conditioned, brainwashed, force-fed, and even indoctrinated into all of it by many well-meaning, yet unknowingly (or maybe knowingly) previously “indoctrinated” people all around me.

So many adults, often calmly, and nicely – but in all likelihood unknowingly – threatened me with, what, to me at the time, were deeply and intentionally terrifying words and imagery, from bizarre ancient stories and fables often used as scare tactics to try to persuade me to act a certain way, behave, and maybe even actually believe their unusual old stories as actual fact-supported reality – even though they could provide absolutely zero fact-based evidence to any of the characters and happenings in these old fables.

Yes, many of the ancient fables had good lessons, lessons that are important for all of us to live by today. However, some of the stories were bizarre, twisted, and even bloody.

When I would ask my elders if the stories and the people in them were real (and later, why there was no evidence) they would almost always say “you just have to have faith my son, and just believe.” I would reply – “do you mean like believing in the Easter bunny, Santa Claus, bigfoot, or the Loch Ness monster?” They would always reply, no – this is different. When I asked how it was different they would answer with; “it just is.” or “Just trust me on this.”
So no…no real answers, only many failed attempts to deflect and delete my genuine curiosity in the why and how of these wierd stories, and this thing we call life.

Don’t even get me started on the absolute physical/biological/hydrologic/meteorological/geographic and temporal impossibilities of the Noah, Jonah, and the parting of the Red sea stories…and so much more. Case in point – the Sloth and Noah’s ark – how did sloths get from what is now central and south America…to the middle east? What about penguins…and Tasmanian devils, Banana slugs, the flightless Kiwi birds of New Zealand…enough said.

None of it made any sense to my curious, logic-seeking young mind.

I did not understand the purpose of any of it.

I eventually concluded the following;
due to the huge lack of evidence – most of the adults must be living in a make believe collective fantasy world that exists only inside their own heads…and if this was not terrifying enough, the simple yet utterly terrifying fact is this; they were attempting to assimilate me and countless others into their imaginary, elite world of gods, devils, ghost* people with bird wings (if you are the ghost of a dead person then why do you need wings, don’t ghosts have the enchanted ability to defy gravity?), talking snakes, heaven and hell, bible, cross…and now, gun and flag-waving creepy racist and hateful religiopolitical, book banning, clubs and cults.
*yet another bizarre evidence-lacking construct the adults share with their children…why?

It was as if you could not even exist as a human being in this society…in this tangible world of reality, without being a member of one of their imaginary worlds of make believe – and be a part of their flock, fold, party, club, organization, congregation, or cult.

I aksed them why a person could not exist without being a member of their cultish, seperatist, religious and political clubs – yet no one could answer this question…it was as if they had never even considered it…or maybe they were conditioned to be afraid to even consider it.

They would often say those individuals following other types of religions/political systems were full of, and led by, nonbelievers – and all of them were lost souls – doomed to rot and burn in the festering fires of hell for eternity.

Even more unusual; periodically they would mass together and chant bizarrely worded and phrased sayings and songs and then symbolically ingest the “body” and “blood” of one of their long-dead – but not dead – savior beings…then say things like “those who do not choose to follow our loving, living (yet dead but not dead…WTAF) savior will burn in the fires of hell for eternity” and that if I did not join their specific fold, flock, team, or congregation – so would I. What wierd and sadistic ways to love your flock and your children.

It was all so freakin bizarre and such a horribly traumatizing thing to subject young children to – yet from my point of view, everyone I knew was, in one way or another, in one cult or another.

Later, while reading the dictionary and encyclopedia (yes, i read them often for fun), I discovered the word cult and concluded, based on the definition and my own observations, that this is what almost everyone I knew was a part of – these widely accepted, even called “normal” by the masses – these cults of religion and politics.

Websters definition of cult:

-A religion* regarded as unorthodox or spurious.

-Great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work.

*Religion:
-A personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices

-the service and worship of God or the supernatural

-commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance

-the state of being religious

-A cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith

• Scrupulous conformity

I have chosen to share my story with you in the hopes that my observations and choices may offer you some insight and awareness that may serve to help you in some way.

Synonyms of religion: creedo, creed, faith, persuasion, cult.

As I input more knowledge into my young brain, I began to connect many dangerously toxic dots, dots that seemed so blatantly obvious to me, but for some odd reason we’re invisible to everyone else around me.
None of any of it made any sense.

I also frequently overheard seemingly good people, and the smaller numbers of fanatical, cultish believers often gossiping and saying mean and nasty things behind the backs of others – some who were even their friends and family – such as; “they are going to forever burn in the fires of hades because they don’t live as we do, love as we do, and believe as we do and worship our god, the one true and only god,” and/or, “What a communist democrat” or “damn greedy republicans, all they care about is themselves.” and “they are all a clear and present danger to our way of life and if you don’t worship HIM , and/or vote for HIM or HER, then your soul and this country is done for.”

Yikes! Why can’t these people actually think for themselves?!?!?!

Why can they not see the obvious facts before them – that these religious and political systems we believe to be so solid, lasting, and permanent…they are yet more examples of experiments in small numbers of weathy, powerful people, controlling large numbers of less fortunate “common” people. That is all this is, nothing more – it is yet more examples of humans experimenting…and like the thousands of dead religions and failed societal governing systems – these to shall eventually pass into the history books alongside all the others.
I know this to be reality now, but way back then…I believed in them, and believing did far more harm to me and absolutely no good came of it.

What about that thing that so many of them so often preached about – you know, not judging others…? I guess that one only applied to them on Sundays – and I watched as so many of them said one thing on Sunday, then did another all the other days of the week. This fact truly irritated me deeply because it was evidence that the believers didnt really believe and it was all an act, a stunt, a way to seem to be conforming to societal norms.

With all the confusion in my head, I would often ask my elders: why would a loving, all powerful, creator being toss its own creations – it’s children that it claimed to love and cherish – into a lake of boiling hot lava and fire – after they had already died, as if death was not bad enough – and then leave them there to suffer the fire, lava, scary, ill tempered red devils and such for eternity* (so strange right?) – if they said a “bad” word…or didn’t spend their entire short life showering them with love by paying homage to them all the time and give them their finite money and time on Sunday and Wendsday, and through the mail…why would an omnipotent god-being that could do anything it wanted – including make money, riches, things, and entire planets, stars, galaxies, etc…from nothing…why would it need ephemeral human money…why all the endless butt kissing and showering of its massive ego…why would it need to send one of its creations that it had a disagreement with to the magma-filled mantle of the planet (why THIS planet, why not one of the trillions of other planets out there in the Milky Way galaxy…or any of the countless other galaxies??) to endlessly torment thise who were on the naughty list? How did this “devil” not instantly incinerate?…oh right…it is super natural…riiiiight. *Oh and by the way, I was under the impression that once a creature is dead, it cannot feel anything – including pain – any longer. What gives here?

If my choices, thoughts, and words, offend, anger, or upset you, I apologize, that was not my intent. However, your offense at my thoughts and observations may suggest that there could be some truth in what I have observed, truth that only you must confront in order to grow as a human being.

I would also often ask;

What about the bizarre, yet bizarrely accepted practice in some religions of allowing newborn babies to have their genitals mutilated under the knife (or even the mouth!!) in the name of their parent’s chosen religion – myself included – what kind of loving god so brainwashes its believers that they freely choose to commit this barbaric act!!!??? What right did they and do they still have to commit such a heinous, destructive, and traumatic act in the first fragile moments of the life of a brand new human!!!??? It is a truly despicable and disgusting blood-soaked ritual that must be abolished. It was not yours to chop or bite off in the name of your imaginary god!!! I want my foreskin back!!! Yes, I went there.

Then, not that long ago, twisted lunatic fringe dwelling religious fanatics killed even more people by hijacking and flying passenger airplanes full of innocent people into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon, thousands died, more blood flowed, believers offered thoughts and prayers as if that was going to bring back the dead.

Evidence supports that in the wrong hands, the cults of religion and politics destroy life, progress, and prosperity.

So many innocent human beings have been brutally murdered in cold blood in schools, in churches, on the streets – by religiopolitical flag, religious book, political parchment, and weapon waving fanatics. Where are all the god or gods during all this bloody madness? If the god refuses to stop the cold blooded murder of HIS innocent children in a school, or worshpers in one of HIS own churchs – then it is my opinion that the god simply does not in fact exist. o

Why would an all-powerful creator god father being create evil?

Again, my own findings, experiences, observations, and the evidence all around me suggest that this, this reali~-~ted, and my energy will move on into another life form or natural process and I am 100% OK with and ready for th ‘ x

In the meantime, I have so much to do and not enough time to do it. Ther

If it was in fact so all-knowing and all-powerful, and such a good god… couldn’t he/she/they/them/it just choose to just NOT create bad things such as evil, hate, devils, demons, disease, pain, war, death, childhood cancer, viral infections, brain and body eating parasites, ticks, chiggers, fleas, malaria, bot flies, botulism, brainworms, and such? Couldn’t it just snap its fingers (like Thanos or Q*) and delete all these horrible things from existence and create only peace, love, health, prosperity, puppies, and happiness instead?

*BTW, I fully understand that these are fictional characters created by humans to tell a story and teach a lesson to the viewer/reader…just like Santa Claus, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy, Zeus, and all the thousands of other gods and goddesses made up by humans…but what i fail to understand is how a person of today can still choose to believe in the non-existence of all those ancient gods and modern myths, yet believe in their “one true god”…whichever one it is they have been taught is “real”…even though it has zero evidence supporting its reality…

Why are innocent little children and good, hard working, caring adults dying of cancer, disease, starvation, massive storms, floods, fires, disasters, alcoholism, war, disgusting parasites and disease, automobile, aircraft, and other accidents, ALS, AIDS, Malaria… why were people suffering from learning and developmental disorders, born deformed, or with debilitating autoimmune disorders, heart disease, etc,…why were and are slavery, prejudice, hatred, bullies, meanness, and war, – all just allowed to happen to innocent people everywhere by this so-called loving good god? It either does not love us, does not care about us, made many mistakes in the recipe, is not all powerful, did not create us, or simply it just does not actually exist.

Why were we taught to fear those labeled by some god-cult believers as witches, but not those lopping off their heads, hanging them, eviscerating, or burning them to death in greusome public spectacles?!?!?!?!

If killing is evil, why then is it OK and accepted by some believers to kill in the name of gods and religion like was done to the “witches” (women) and those with brown skin, or of indigenous heritage – and is also done so often in the Bible and other dusty old religious books? WHY!

Tangent time: why do some organisms have to kill, eat, infect and infest* other animals – and people to exist? (to me, this is yet even more irefutable peer reviewed evidence that we human beings are also animals) – *predators, parasites, scavengers, bacteria, viruses, etc.

If I were all powerful and wanted to create a life form, I would not design it to brutally kill or scavenge and then ingest my other creations to gain the energy it needs to survive – that is just bad engineering, it is messy, and it creates a breeding ground for germs. I would also not intentionally design and release microscopic – worms, ticks, fleas, mosquitoes, lice – and microscopic viral and bacterial (covid, plague, malaria, ebola, lyme disease, rocky mountain spotted fever, tetanus, hookworm, leeches, ) and so many other parasites and pathogens that use the bodies of others of my creations as food sources and/or incubators for more of their own kind while making my creations sick, in pain, dead, and/or vectors of said diseases/parasites to my other creations that I supposedly love – all that would be highly illogical, most counterproductive, and just twisted, sadistic, and morbidly sick.

What I would do is design an organism to be powered by endlessly renewable, clean, solar energy from the nearest star. This design would also eliminate the need to eat, bad teeth and cavities would not exist, we would not need to sloppily suck and slurp nutritional secretions from the breasts of our mothers, we would not need to eliminate (defacate and urinate)…the lack of all that would streamline the design even more by eliminating the entire digestive system…in other words, I would create plants. Maybe plants are the perfect organisms. Maybe, if there is a god being out there somewhere, maybe we meat munching, hairy, teat sucking, drooling, dripping, pooping, infected, mammals are a failed experiment that he/she/they/them/it couldn’t turn off due to our propensity to breed like…um, humans…hmmm.

Any engineer designing any machine would make it as simple and as low maintenance as possible, not the highly complex, chemically, physically, and spiritually needy, always breaking down, weak, mostly hairless, bipedal, apelike bodies our fragile meat-computer minds are stuck inside.

For more on this subject take a look at this from my friend Joe:

Enough said.

Plants.

Yes plants.

Yes, an omnipotent being would design plants, not people.
It is common sense really.

There are over 300,000 species of plants…and only one species of human. Therefore, It seems clear to me that if there is an all powerful creator being somewhere out there, they are really happy with plants and kept churning out more and more species while ignoring the singular bipedal ape with the oversized brain that thinks it is so important.

End Tangent.

Continuing onward, what did the snake do to deserve all the hate? I have known many snakes and none of them ever talked to me or tried to get me to do “bad” things to others – they just tried to get away from the big scary mostly hairless cultish apes who are always killing and harming far more snakes, than snakes will ever kill or harm people…and sadly, they do so most often in the name of made up gods and fearful seperatist death worshiping cultish religions.

Why do so many people pray to an imaginary god/father figure to help/heal/save them when they are in danger, suffer natural disasters, are sick and/injured in the hospital – when it is the doctors, nurses, firefighters, EMT’s, police, military, SAR teams, engineering, and science teams who are the ones doing the saving, curing, protecting, healing? If their god was real and if he/she/it/them/they, truly existed and/or truly cared…wouldn’t it just choose to not put its creations in danger/pain/suffering in the first place? Why would it conjure up all these bad things to torment, harm, and even kill, its children? Wouldn’t it be like the shepherd/farmer who works very hard to keep his sheep and other livestock safe, healthy, happy, and away from the wolf (only to kill and ingest them later)? I guess not.

It also seems to me that this god fellow, and all the devils, heavens and hells, Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and Sasquatch are the same – we are told by our elders they actually exist…somewhere…somehow…yet we never see any real evidence of any of them.

Funny thing, none of my elders could ever answer any of my probing questions. They would often even act afraid of my questions and then say things like “Dont ask such questions!” or “Pray to (their) god and it would reveal the answers you seek.” So I did, I prayed, because at the time I believed, so I was afraid…no, I was terrified of the angry, vengeful god, the pitchfork wielding grinning devils, and all the eternal fire and damnation the adults had repeatedly downloaded into my head since I was an innocent little baby with a brand new brain.

The years of fearful conditioning was getting to me. Yes, this was the world of my youth.

This is the cold reality of religious trauma, and to me, it could possibly even be considered a form of child abuse – but that is just my humble opinion.

They would also often say that god knows your thoughts.
Really, if this is so, then why did/do we need to pray, couldn’t the all knowing god being just read our minds and know what we were thinking before we thought it?? They had no answers for me.

But no…no voices, no answers or insight came, and nothing at all ever changed.

Kids and adults still died from horrible diseases (a friend died suddenly in middle school from encephalitis), accidents (another friend died in a terrible car accident), and so many innocent did not know died horrible deaths at the hands of deranged lunatics with guns, knives, sticks, rocks, fire, poison, and sometimes they even took their own lives (my mother’s best friend offed herself with a rope and a good friend’s brother used his service pistol…and the list goes on and on.

As i am fond of saying – We are our own most limiting factor.

Fires, storms, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunami, floods, still destroyed property, forests, nature, animals and people. People who worshiped a god, gods, or none at all – they all died equally. I suppose their gods did not care and I know for a fact that nature does not care one bit about any of us, so we must take care of ourselves and each other.

Huge oil, timber, and development companies and war machines destroyed and continue to rape vast tracts of pristine nature and indigenous civilization in the name of ephemeral profit, oil, coal, gas, gods, religion, and lame politics…and their gods just sit back and watch and let them destroy its creations…even innocent little children…why did the gods let them get away with it! I thought these gods were the ultimate shepherds presiding over their beloved flocks…where are the gods when their flocks needs them? What a terrible shepherd, obviously the gods that are stuck in so many people’s heads simply do not exist.

My childhood best friend had diabetes, I watched him suffer with it for decades. I also watched as the miracles of medical science saved him and keep him alive with insulin…not a god, not prayer – but medical science and engineering. Science works miracles every day – science is the god, and doctors, nurses, medicine and engineering are the angels and the miracles.

Yet, even with the medical marvels working miracles for many, the “demon” that is cancer still stalked and killed good people including three of my friends – two of them prayed to a god daily…but their god still killed them at a young age with horrible pain, suffering, and anguish.

AIDS killed countless humans until science slowed the killing. Science, not gods.

Another good friend of mine and her infant child were brutally killed by a drunk driver who fell asleep at the wheel – their car was torn in half – WHILE THEY WERE ON THE WAY TO CHURCH to pray to their almighty loving “good” god!!
Their god is total bullshit.
Their god is not real.
If it was real it would have saved them!!!
The drunk driver that killed them lived and is still out there driving around. WTF!

My wonderful adoptive dad suffered for years and died broken and alone from a prolonged, painful, toxic death from depression, alcohol and tobacco addiction. Where was his god when he needed him?

My beloved adoptive mother recently died at the hands of the mind eating “demon” that is dementia – it destroyed her beautiful mind and her body soon followed. She was a 2nd grade elementary school teacher and a devout Christian her entire life, she gave so much of her time and money to her students and to the church she co-founded with dad in the 1960’s, she helped so many people and was loved by so many, even though she never had much – yet her god chose to destroy her mind and kill her body slowly and painfully. What an ungrateful, hateful, sick and twistedly evil god it must be. Her death was the last straw that broke any remaining connections i had to that twisted cultish manufactured religious world. Her god killed my mother with torture, and I then killed her god with that evidence. Her god, the god of my youth is stone cold dead to me.

My biological father, a great protector of wildlife, nature, and the law, and a generous member of the community…lived for many months in great discomfort with kidney failure and horrible pain. The “miracles” of modern medical science and engineering kept him alive through dialysis and pain stopping surgery – but he suffered so much in his weak and failing body and in the last months of his life he was bedridden and unable to go home to be with those he loved. It tore my heart out to see him that way.
It was a great releaf from the rigid wasteing darkness when he finally passed away. We all miss him greatly, but his pain and suffering is finally over.

What burns me deeply, like a white hot fire poker pushed slowly into my eye, is the knowledge that he spent his entire life protecting his god’s creation and its wonderful wild creatures from greedy, uncaring people, he preserved thousands of acres of wild lands (you know, that old creation thing), he protected good people from bad people…and yet, despite all the good he did for nature, his family, others, and for the world – where was his god when he needed it the most?!!
Why WHY did he have to go through all that debilitating misery?
His god did not help him, therefore, his god is dead to me.

A few years before his final fight, he and my siblings had to watch in heart ripping pain as their mother/his wonderful wife, an accomplished nurse who expertly cared for the sick and her family, was also attacked by the brain eating vampire that is dementia and swiftly succumbed to its voracious appetite for the minds of its victims.
Where was their creator when all this was happening? Why didn’t it intervene? It is obvious to me that it either is powerless, does not care about its creations, or it simply does not exist.
Her god is dead to me.

Two armed thugs broke into my cousin’s rural home in the middle of the night and brutally shot my elderly cousins. They wounded Danny and murdered Judy in cold blood – for what – money?!?!
These were wonderful, helpful, well loved members of the small community in which they lived, they weren’t rich, they weren’t threatening, they were just good people… and yet they were brutally attacked and one died… why WHY!?!? Where was their god damn god?!?! Why didn’t it protect them from the demented greedy thugs?!?!
WHY!!!
BECAUSE IT DOES NOT EXIST – THATS WHY!!!

The damn predatory thugs escaped and are still out there, probably still thieving and killing. The uncaring god of my cousin is dead to me.

In early 2025, a favorite YouTube creator of mine – The Desert Drifter – was in a horrible automotive accident and he later passed away. Why! His videos were so well done, so educational, so beautiful in how they shared a love and respect for the land and for ancient cultures – and in his videos he and his wife spoke of how they were Christians and loved God. Yet, their god brutally killed him – so his god is dead to me.

Steve Irwin, aka The Crocodile Hunter – worked hard to educate people on the value of wildlife and nature. He protected vast tracts of land from development, he did so much good…but he was killed by one of the wild creatures he loved.
Why!!!
Why didnt his god protect him?!?
His god is dead to me.

Why are so many innocent kids still dying, starving, suffering?

Why do so many of us endlessly suffer from physical and mental health issues when we could be productive members of society?

Why are innocent people still kidnapped, enslaved, trafficked, addicted to drugs?

Why are war and hate still rampant?

Why are despicable heartless people like adolph hitler and donald trump allowed to spread fear, incite hate, rape, rule, murder, and destroy?

Why did hundreds of thousands die in that big tsunami, earthquake, volcanic eruption, hurricane, flood, wildfire, war, plane crash, plague, pandemic?

What did all those human beings ever do to this so called loving, all powerful god that gave he/she/it/them/they the right to “punish”, harm, and brutally kill all those innocent people, all those mothers, fathers, sons and daughters, and little babies???

None of that is love, it is indifference, it is outright hate. It is as if he/she/they/them/it (god) is a cat tormenting, mauling, and then viciously killing all the mice (us) for its own sick and twisted enjoyment…or, as evidence suggests – it is far more likely that, like Santa, Zeus, Sasquatch, and Nessie – it simply does not actually exist and was invented by ancient people to explain the how and why of things happening around them.

Over all the years, all my genuinely thoughtful, probing questions never have been successfully answered. The believers would just say deflecting, reason, curiosity, and thought cancelling things such as “our father works in mysterious ways” or “its in gods hands” and the old “pray about it.” What a total and complete copout.

When I was in my teens, I began to notice all the rich politicians grinning through their teeth while kissing random babies and making empty promises on TV…and the bible thumping preaching pontiffs in church on Sunday (and on TV) asking for money from my mom and so many others – who didn’t have much money – it was then that I began to see through their cultish insanity. What would a rich politician, preacher, or omnipotent, supreme being need with my beloved mom’s very limited money? Oh right, they need it to pay homage to their god(s) by constructing mega churches, mansions, private jets, giant wooden non floating arks full of manufactured religiopolitical propaganda and outright lies (see the religious fanatic Ken Hamm and his Ark Encounter monstrosity)…their one true god is the almighty dollar. If you cannot see that, you need some professional help.

As the decades passed by I conducted extensive research by reading many books by many great thinkers, scholars, religious types, as well as many ancient religious texts, I studied ancient cultures, their myths, gods, etc., and came to realize the following:

While many religions started out with good intentions and their followers do in fact do good works, help people, and so on…many more are just corrupt businesses built upon the backs of all the ancient fearful books, myths, stories, and so on. So much blood, pain, suffering, hate, war, and so much needless death in the name of so many different gods – they are nothing more than cults of personality, control, and profit.

When I was in my 20s I began to realize I didn’t need any of them in my life. They were creating far more questions, anxiety, depression, and trouble in my mind, my world, and in the world as a whole, and I did not want any part in their malignant mythological madness.

Yet, at the same time I also noticed around me that some believers and religious types and their teachings and organizations were presenting good life lessons for anyone to learn and yes, many followers of today’s religiopolitical organizations are truly great people who do actually help those in need, and work very hard to make a better future for us all, and that is very good and very needed. While I fully applaud and support their selfless acts and humanitarian actions, I am not at all concerned about those that do good deeds in the name of a god, religion, or lack therof.
What deeply concerns me are the cultish lunatic fringe dwelling extremist evangelical types that will not accept or even consider anything outside their chosen system of belief. Those who are quick to judge others, quick to twist, edit, modify, and even re-manufacture the words and teachings of their stone tablets, dusty old books, scrolls, and documents, to suit their fear and hate driven agendas and desire for profit, control, and belonging to their chosen cult…all while working behind the scenes to incite fear, hate, and to divide us from each other – some even go so far as to kill others and/or destroy property, and even go to war in the name of their god/religion/politics – the religiopolitical soup they are swimming within. That is so very wrong and it is not helping anything or anyone.

As a wise person once said:

“A very powerful and profound statement indeed. And expresses my thoughts why I have nothing for the American Brand of Christianity, nor Evangelical Christianity. It is a threat to humanity, the Earth, and Christianity overall.
“To the church of my youth,
What did you expect me to do?
You taught me to love my neighbors, to model the life of Jesus. To be kind and considerate, and to stand up for the bullied.
You taught me to love people, consider others as more important than myself.
You taught me to sing “red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight.”
We sang it together, pressing the volume pedal and leaning our hearts into the chorus. You said that “He loved all the children of the world”.
You taught me to love my enemies, to even do good to those who wish for bad things. You taught me to never “hate” anyone and to always find ways to encourage people.
You taught me it’s better to give than receive, to be last instead of first. To help the poor, the widow, the stranger at the gate.
You taught me that Jesus looks at what I do for the least-of-these as the true depth of my faith. You taught me to focus on my own sin and not to judge. You taught me to be accepting and forgiving.
So I paid attention.
I took in every lesson.
And I did what you taught me.
But now, you call me a “libtard”. A queer-lover. You call me “woke.” A backslider. You call me a heretic. You make fun of my heart. You mock the people I’m trying to help. You say I’m a child of the devil.
You call me soft. A snowflake. A socialist. You shun the very people you told me to help.
What did you expect me to do?
I thought you were serious, but apparently not.
You hate nearly all the people I love. You stand against nearly all the things I stand for. I’m trying to see a way forward, but it’s hard when I survey all the hurt, harm, and darkness that comes in the wake of your beliefs and presence.
What did you expect me to do?
I believed it all the way.
I’m still believing it all the way.
Which leaves me wondering, what happened to you?”

—Chris Kratzer”

All that said, and after much soul searching, it is now my humble opinion, based upon my years of research, life experience, observation, anxiety, doubt, and oh so much religiopolitical trauma, that I feel compelled to suggest the following…and remember, the only evidence i have that allows me to make this suggestion, is a great and deep pit that is lacking any measurable repeatable evidence.

This experience and gigantic lack of evidence suggests to me the following;

All the gods, religions, etc. all of them – are based upon stories made up by countless tribes of ancient early agrarian peoples from all over the planet to help them understand the world around them, and to comfort them from the cold hard realities of nature and of death, teach lessons of living in a society, and/or control the masses in support of an elite, greed, power, and control driven ruling class of bigmen, kings, queens, chiefs, and politicians.

Over the thousands of years since they were written – not by a god or gods – but by early humans who’s consciousness was awakening to the realities around them and had them questioning what they were experiencing – these ancient stories were then passed down, edited, adapted, modified, and manipulated to fit the needs and desires of kings, queens, chiefs, politicians, and bigmen – and yet even more blood flowed, millions more died in flames, at the gallows, in horrible torturous dungeons, while masses of believers watched and jeered in fear and support of the senseless killing by the leaders of the believers. Still more countless innocents perished under the stones, spears, fire, guns, germs, and steel, in the name of crowns, thrones, and politics, invisible lines in the sand, imaginary gods, and many more blood-soaked religious cults.

Oh, and let us not forget the countless babies, young children, virgins, those labeled witches and/or different, and many others that have been brutally sacrificed, murdered, burned, had their beating hearts torn from their chest, been brutally molested and raped by bent priests and politicians, left bleeding or freezing on an altar stone on top of a mountain, tossed into volcanoes, and/or enslaved in the name of countless religions and countless gods over countless centuries…why did the god or gods allow his creations, his children, to destroy his other creations, his other children – it makes no sense at all. If I were the parent of a child who started acting like some people do today (and back into deep history as evidenced in the archeological record), I would surely not let them get away with the heinous and bloody acts and tantrums they have perpetrated upon other humans – some they even claim to love. I would punish them gently, and I would teach them how to treat each other. I would be a good father and I would lead by example.

Where is he.
Where is this god(father) when his children harm, disrespect, enslave, bully, rape, kill, and massacre others in HIS name?

Where was he in the gas chambers of Auschwitz, in all the wars, in the aftermath of all the hurricanes, tsunami, fires, floods, plagues, and on and on. Where was he?!
Where is he now?

What about the bizarre, yet bizarrely accepted practice in some religions of allowing newborn babies to have their tender young genitals mutilated under the knife (or even the mouth!! – yes, it is a thing.) in the name of their parent’s chosen religion – myself included – what kind of loving god so brainwashes its believers that they freely choose to commit this barbaric and sadistic act!!!??? What right did they and do they still have to commit such a heinous, destructive, and traumatic act in the first fragile moments of the life of a brand new human!!!??? It is a truly despicable and disgusting blood soaked ritual that must be abolished. It was not yours to chop or bite off in the name of your imaginary god!!! I want my foreskin back!!! Yes, I went there.

Then, not that long ago, twisted lunatic fringe dwelling religious fanatics killed even more people by hijacking and flying passenger airplanes full of innocent people into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon, thousands died, more blood flowed, believers offered thoughts and prayers as if that was going to somehow magically bring back the dead. WTAF!

So many innocent human beings have been brutally murdered in cold blood in schools, in churches, on the streets – by religiopolitical flag, book, political parchment, and weapon waving fanatics. Where are all the god or gods during all this bloody madness? If a god refuses to stop the cold blooded murder of HIS innocent children in a school, or of devought worshpers in HIS own churches – then it is my opinion that the god simply does not in fact exist.

The reality is this: All these gods we humans have dreamed up – exist ONLY in the minds of their worshipers.

Evidence supports that, in the wrong hands, religion and politics destroys life, progress, and prosperity.

Then, even more recently, some truly misguided religiopolitical cultish types tossed into the mad mix – old dead flags, toxic hyper-nationalism, stories of “promised” lands, guns, hate, fear, money, oil, division, prejudice, control, and so on…and now we have a very dangerous situation that may just blow up in our faces – if we let it. We must not let it.

Again, my own findings, experiences, observations, and the evidence and lack thereof all around me suggest that this:

The visible, measurable, tangible reality of nature all around us, is the only reality – it is all there is, and there is nothing more.

I believe this is the great fact that so many believers fear. They fear the reality of our shared existence. They do not want to believe that they are just another animal at the mercy of the whims of nature. They fear their own mortality. The fear their kinship with nature.

I do not fear this reality. I cherish my connection to the animals and the natural world. In fact, my connection to nature is a soaring spiritual experience.

I do not fear my own eventual death. I did not exist for billions of years before I did, and when I’m gone, I will not know it. The remains of my body will be recycled back into nature from where it originated, and my energy will move on into another life form or natural process – and I am 100% ready for that factual eventuality.

While I do not fear my own eventual death, I will however miss being alive, I will greatly miss the ones I love….but i won’t because I will be dead.

In the meantime, I have so much to do and not enough time to do it. Therefore, I should live while I’m here, enjoy and experience what it means to be concious in and of this life I am living. I will love, do good things for others, make a positive difference for the future, leave things better than I found them – IMHO that is what this life is all about….it is not about unending blind devotion to an imaginary superhero-like friend or a bloated toxic mouth-breathing puppet politician.

Clearly you can see that I am unhappy with the way things work and I’m angry at the way our culture seems to be working very hard to vector its highly fermented, souring, infectious death cult religious culture to its youth.

I talk big and often spout certainty at uncertainty…and at all the thousands of gods created by us ephemeral bipedal multicolored mostly hairless primates…but honestly, is there a god or gods – I do not know and I do not care.

What I do know is that I will not speculate, claim, or believe anything just because someone tells me to do so unless that thing is supported by peer-reviewed evidence – not magical or fearful thinking.

I do not have any evidence at all to support that any gods do or do not exist, but if evidence is ever found to support a controlling creator being existing on a level outside of our reality as we understand it, and/or the existence of a non-corrupt, empathetic, caring, politician – I will adapt my understandings of these things, accept them if the evidence is sound, and go on with my life. Until that time, I will not blindly follow the ancient dogma, and malignant myths, madness, and magical mysticism promoted by the masses.

Yes, I suppose all this makes me an agnostic, a humanist, a free spirit, or some other label…and I’m 100% OK with that.

Nor will I treat any politician or pontiff like a king, hero, or savior and I will not give them any of what little money I have…they take enough as it is in the form of taxes.

Yes, I will vote – but only because as a citizen of this country and this planet, it is my duty and I must have a say in the future of things. However, I will never vote party or personality, I will always vote for evidence-supported logic, reason, and reality. I will always honor facts and evidence. I.E. If the facts and evidence support that a politician or pontiff committed crimes against our country, humanity, and nature – then that individual will never receive my vote.

Going a bit back in time again – for young me, the damage had already been done. The well-meaning adults of my childhood had unknowingly created a massive mental block, a thick wall of rutting mythological religious madness and strutting political nonsense blocking out reality, to form in my mind. A thick wall of religious and political mental trauma that followed me around for decades and held me down like a lead anchor intentionally designed by its ancient forgers to restrict and limit my movements in the one and only life that I was living. Despite the fact that none of it, none of the twisted greedy politics and bizarre fabricated religious antics of the human being has ever made any sense to me, and it still does not make any sense to me at all…but the mass of the heavy anchor was still there…anchoring me to the devious dictates of the past, weighing me down with imaginary imagery and deep seated fears of things that do not exist. But that is the nature of trauma is it not?

Despite my lack of understanding – then and now as to why people continue to blindly follow these ancient destructive, divisive, cultish, irrational dictates, – my own research, education, and experiences soon led me out of the dark, limiting shroud of religiopolitical trauma and allowed me to destroy the imaginary gods and demons that had been existing only within my mind and tormenting me for so many decades.

While I destroyed the demons and broke the chains – the ghosts of the decades of religiopolitical conditioning, the programming, and the brainwashing from all sides – they remain to this day, burned like a hot brand on my mind by the world I grew up in. Often, it takes considerable energy to overcome these ghosts and think my own thoughts without the ghost of a god or devil attempting to pop into the mix and stir things up. This is the sad reality of religiopolitical trauma.

The great irony of the entire thing was that the well-meaning people from my childhood, all their friends and followers, the media, movies, and tv shows, they had all unknowingly been corrupted by the teachings of their elders and their cultures. They then created and curated all the gods, devils, heavens and hells they feared so deeply within their own minds and within their own culture. They promoted the ideas and the twisted images of hell for them (and for me) to live in within their own minds, an imaginary mental hell full of the very fires, devils, demons, and a heaven with a vengeful, hateful, selfish, judgemental, god – surrounded by winged angels – sitting upon a huge golden throne glaring down on the world like a toxic old father, or a bullying boss who would harshly discipline you and/or terminate you on a whim. They created all the things they all feared so much and then passed their toxic fairy tale creations on to their children.

I remember most of them all as good, caring, loving, people – why couldn’t they break the cycle, why couldn’t they break down the walls of trauma as I have done… as I am still trying to do? I’m not special? What gives me the ability to see through the smoke, mirrors, and snake oil created by the fearful hunter-gatherers, farmers, and controlling greedy charlatans so long ago and so recently? Why couldn’t they do so as well??? Maybe they were/are addicted to the bizarre religiopolitical ideas they have worshipped for so long, maybe they are comfortable in their illusions and that is all they need.

After the thick walls of religiopolitical trauma finally came tumbling down and i broke free from the anchor, it was as if I bobbed to the surface of a sea of darkness and was thrust into the light and I awoke from my fitful, traumatized, terrorized sleep. I was finally free of most of the mental darkness and madness…but the ghosts of the past do still linger, lurking deep in the dark recesses of my subconscious like the Balrog of Morgoth.

Life does not have to be this way.

Yes, I know some of you may feel the need to judge and call me “woke” “damned” “lost” a “black sheep” or “free spirit” – whatever.
Question: why are you so judgmental of MY lack of adoption of YOUR beliefs? They are your beliefs, not mine. My beliefs should not matter to you unless your cult leaders have given you a task to assimilate others into your flock, fold, or party…if that is the case then you really need to get some professional help before you are the cause of anothers demise.

Do you feel the need to dislike or even hate or attack me? What have I done to hurt you? Why do you feel the need to attack me for my lack of your beliefs? It is my choice to not believe as you choose to. Why do you feel the need to attack others for having beliefs different than yours…and I know, it seems like that is what I’m doing here. Maybe that is what it looks like, but that is not my intention. My intention was to share my story, my experience, my long road to trying to find my real self, to heal myself.

My goal also is to analyze the system, the matrix we are all stuck inside.

I know, I have probably made some of you uncomfortable*, I may have somehow unknowingly threatened your beliefs and hopefully, that made you think outside of them, to analyze them for what they really are.

• I have been uncomfortable with all this religion and political madness as long as I can remember. But finally, I feel like I am putting it behind me. Finally I feel like I am my own person. Finally I feel truly free.

Hopefully my story has inspired you think outside the box you may have been trapped inside for so long.

But if you are afraid of thinking, knowledge, reality, then I am unable to help you.

Go ahead, call me names, feel free to say what you will, that is your choice and that is your problem. I am not concerned with what you think about my choices, they are MY choices, not yours – I care what I think. Last I looked this is a free country and freedom applies to everyone, not just your religiopolitically modified ideas of what it should be.

However, I do respect what you choose to think and believe, and you are free to think it, believe it, and fully free to choose it. However, if your choices bully, target, and harm others, and/or threaten their personal freedoms and my personal freedoms in the name of your chosen religion and/or your politics – then you are a danger to yourself and others and you may benefit from some serious professional help.

Throughout this longterm self analysis and observation, I have finally realized that I am the owner of my own mind, and my own thoughts such as they are and as imperfect as they are, and I can make my own decisions and live my own life. I will not let those with cultish, controlling, agendas control my mind and my decision making process.

I choose to think for myself.

The real question here is this: when will all of the believers and followers of all the bizarre and twisted myths and evidenceless prophets and profit driven charlatans ever wake up from their dreams and accept reality for what it is…I do not know. What I do know is that from my observational point of view – the reality of nature, consciousness, and existence is all there is.

If I am able to help even one person step out of the mists of myth and madness and find a way to accept the reality of reality by sharing my story, then I have made a difference.

If any of this sounds familiar and/or if you believe that you, or someone you love has been the recipient of religious, political, or other lunatic-fringe toxic dogma, elite clubs, cults, or secret societies, and the resulting traumatizing emotional state they seek to instill in your mind – maybe it is time you get some professional help and break down the thick walls of religiopolitical trauma that separate you from the reality of reality.

We all only have a finite amount of uptime, it is our choice what we do with the time we have.

Choose wisely.
Knowledge Conquers Fear.
Free your mind.
Do good things.
Leave things better than you found them.
Coexist.
One Love.

Note: I will continue to update this post and it’s comments with new insight and unique observations of others who have inspired me to think outside of the highly restrictive box I recently escaped from. Feel free to add your own stories, insight, memes, etc.